What’s Your Friend Status?

Posted on 01 July 2016

Many years ago I got divorced on July 3rd.  The alignment with Independence Day weekend was not lost on me.  I had a sweatshirt at that time with the word Independent on it. I wore it with pride and took that word on as a top value.  I make my own choices, create my own life, and am just fine in my own good company.  Independent?  Yes!

And… a few of my other top values are Community and Connection  Kind of funny, that.

That balance between being independent and being connected is a challenging one at times.  I like my own space, however, I also enjoy community.  I desire freedom, yet I love intimacy.  I thrive with space, though I also need the warm embrace of others.

I can create a pretty good life on my own. If I’m not sharing myself with other people, or making space for other people to share themselves with me, however, it’s all a bit empty.

I’m not an island no matter how introverted or independent I am.  No one is.

We all need friends.  We need to feel a sense of belonging and community.  We need the exchange of ideas and perspectives to check us, expand us, and grow us.   Without that, things can get a little wonky.

Studies show that good friendships help us live long and healthy lives. That’s not surprising is it?  And, as an adult, your friendship are yours to create!

Check in and ask yourself:

Do I have close friends with whom I can show up fully — as myself?
Do I have diverse social circles that enrich my life?
Are my friendships healthy, balanced, and nurturing to me?
Have I cultivated intimacy and vulnerability within my friendships?


Could this area of your life use some attention?  If you tended to it with more consciousness, what else would be possible?

The year after my divorce was a rough one.  I spent a lot of time alone, processing my grief at this huge transition in my life.  I also got out in the world, showed up to new events, and mustered the courage to talk to new people.  I put together a friend circle that year that was unlike any I’d had before. It was diverse, it was edgy, and it was my saving grace.

I’m so grateful for those friends who walked me into a new experience of myself. And I’m grateful for the friends and communities who keep expanding me.  You, my friend, are part of that.

Friendship Term in the Inner CircleMy Inner Circle coaching group is focusing on Friendship + Intimacy this term.  Together, we’re reading a book called Frientimacy by Shasta Nelson.  As she says, “You don’t need better friends; you need better relationships.”  I love that!  I know that my relationships are what I create them to be, and if they’re not fulfilling me, I can change that.  That’s what we’ll be doing for the next three months — cultivating BFFs, social circles and rich relationships to enliven our lives.  I’d love to have you join us.


Details below!  You can also still join us for our Summer of Creation class.  And you’re ALWAYS welcome to book sessions with me, and expand into new possibilities beyond what you’ve been imagining.

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