Things to remember when you’re beating yourself up

Posted on 12 February 2020

Have you ever noticed that beating yourself up for what you’ve chosen only keeps you hooked into it? I find this with clients all the time. Before getting visionary we have to neutralize that self-judgment.

Let me remind you of two important facts about being human:

1. It’s okay to make messes and mistakes along the journey; in fact, you must. In the grand scheme of your life those things you call mistakes are simply part of the colorful tapestry of you. They’re necessary. The trial and error is a key component in learning anything. Give yourself permission to not be perfectly evolved, perfectly visionary, and perfectly perfect all the time. Who would that person be? Someone not nearly as interesting as you.

1. When you feel stuck, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Often those days or weeks of confusion and stuckness are days or weeks in which everything else is rearranging and it all just may need time. A seed takes time to sprout. A baby takes months to grow before it’s ready to be born. You’re not wrong for where you are. Don’t beat yourself up for timing that is out of your control. Trust that it’s all unfolding.

When you’ve released your self-judgment and come back into balance with yourself, THEN you can ask bigger questions that will help you see a way forward:

* What is this situation offering me? What is are the gifts of having created it?
* What actions can I take to create something better here for me (and everyone else too)?
* What is my intuition telling me about timing?
* What parts of this do I need to surrender as not in my control?
* How at ease can I be with it all?

Now what do you know?

I use these questions with clients in sessions. If you could use the kind of space and inquiry, book some sessions with me.  Also, I have workshop on Saturday in LA called Let It Go and Choose Again, the focus of which will be releasing judgment and pivoting to what’s possible next. No by-passing in this work — instead a full acknowledgment, appreciation, and embrace of what has been so we can look forward with clear and clean perspective.


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