When you have all the answers, you miss a lot

Posted on 31 August 2022

Often when I start coaching clients it takes a few sessions before they soften into the curiosity I invite them into with my questions.  At first they have quick and solid answers for everything — even the big open ended questions I’m asking to create some space for possibility — and most of their answers are conclusions.  

No, I can’t … 

That won’t work because… 

The most I can get is …

They’ll never …

When conclusions reign supreme there is no where to go.  You’ll feel trapped and stuck because you are — by your own perceptions.

The way out requires a willingness to not know the answer. 

Inspiration can’t strike when you’ve already predicted all pathways forward.

You must make space.

When you’re truly in question, you embrace mystery.  You get curious about the unknown.  You make room for something that you’ve never thought of before to show up in your awareness. 

That’s the realm of change and transformation.

Over time my clients, tired of their conclusions, become more comfortable with the energy of the unknown.  They soften and linger in the realm of questions with me.  Their thinking changes. 

What if I could …?

What might happen if …?

How much can I receive… ?

What might allow them to…?

Questions work on them and through them and for them.  Can you feel how that is?  Can YOU soften into some curiosity and question about your life now too?

I love teaching questions, so I’m stoked for September’s daily class, The Art of Asking Questions to begin.  We start on Friday and I’d love to have you. Details here.

 

What else might be possible in YOUR life if you shifted your priorities a little more towards love and the fulfillment of your spirit?  Linger in the wondering a little while.  Let the question work you. If it sparks a bigger vision, consider a series of coaching sessions to support you in following the inspiration and allowing change.  Link to my calendars here.


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When problems arise, remember this…

Posted on 25 August 2022

No matter what you’re going through, or how bad it gets, you have a higher self that sees beyond your problems. You can ask that part of you to help you.

You have a fire inside of you that’s kept you going. You can call on it to resource you.

It’s easy to forget this when you’re overwhelmed and feeling beat down. That’s normal.

Everyone goes through times that feel like perfect storms of breakdown. Everyone has circumstances and problems that arise and derail us in the moment.  

When this happens, you will likely feel small, nervous, or even scared, depending on what you’re experiencing.  Be compassionate with yourself when you’re triggered into those emotions… and then take a big breath and get bigger than your problems!!

(Sometimes a big roar of anger will help you get big!  Anger as an expression of self-worthiness is super helpful for getting out of a victim state.)

From a bigger stance and view, you may realize…

Not everyone is against you.

There are solutions.

There are people who can help you.

You don’t want to run away.

You may be delayed, but you are not stopped.

You’re a bad ass, and actually doing really well.

From this bigger state you’ll begin to attract helpful ideas, inspiration, and solutions.  A path forward will emerge one step at a time. 

Stand tall.  You WILL move through where you’re at.  You will grow and learn something along the way. You will be changed by it, and discover more about yourself. 

You’re not doing this wrong.  You are the hero of your story, and these are the adventures that make you strong and wise. 


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Don’t settle.

Posted on 18 August 2022

Recently I was reminding a client in a very difficult situation:

You don’t have to settle.
You don’t have to suffer.
You don’t have to bend over backwards or compromise yourself to make something work that isn’t working.
Is there any area of YOUR life in which you need this reminder too?

You are a creator.  You’ve worked with the ingredients you’ve been given and created your life thus far.  It’s good and even amazing that you’ve created what you’ve created.

And…  creations can change!
Remember that you can have a Life that feels good to you.  Then focus forward — what would you like it to be like next?  Look like?  Feel like?

What are the qualities of that life?

And who will you be in it?

It actually takes some discipline to focus and imagine what isn’t yet here. It requires over-riding your default brain, but it’s part of what will help you get unstuck.

My client has a journey to go on.  Her situation isn’t going to transform itself in a day or a week, but it can and will change as she feels worthy of more.   Instead of being resigned to suffering, she has to remember repeatedly that it doesn’t have to be this way.  Feeling a sense of possibility beyond where she’s at will help her get stronger in herself.  Her path forward will become more clear when she’s reaching for it.

If it’s been a while since you’ve felt a pull towards a future that feels good and bright to you, pause and redirect your focus forward into that vast field of possibility ahead of you.  Call forth your highest, wisest self to open your eyes and inspire you in the direction of more.

You’re here to thrive and grow, not settle or suffer. I know this for you!

Our minds are usually so shaped by the past and stuck in the present that they have a hard time perceiving the as-yet-unknown yet full-of-possibility future.  You can, however, train yourself into growth mindsets and visionary views.  That’s what coaching is about!

I’d be happy to help you step into a new vision of your life. I offer a 12 session package for $2,000.  Interested?  Book a consultation here.


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Often you have to slow down in order to get ahead

Posted on 10 August 2022

In a typical season of your life when everything’s coming at you at once, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

Life doesn’t slow down for you to breath and reflect, but you can slow yourself down..

You can build in the time to pause and lift your gaze. Give yourself the space to breathe and take in a bigger view. If you don’t, you risk getting lost. The stresses and surface issues of your life will swallow your attention.

There are deeper trends to your life than meet the eye. When you slow down you can feel that. You can see what’s actually happening and who you’re being within it. You can sense what’s possible and what you’re called to do next.

That’s what coaching sessions are about.

You pause and lay it all out.
You examine the smaller details and the bigger picture.
You get curious with me and ask big questions of yourself.
You seek your highest path.

When you create the space to focus and reflect, clarity comes with ease.

Your voices of judgment soften.
Your overwhelm dissipates.
You shift out of stress modes and survival strategies, and find yourself smarter and wiser, more creative and more resourced.

Slowing down lets you step into being a visionary, instead of just a survivor. It puts you ahead of your problems instead of behind them.

And… when you make regular pauses a priority, Life shows up differently. It doesn’t necessarily slow down, but it seems like it does, because you’re no longer steamrolled by the pace of it.

I want that for you.


If you could use a series of sessions in this season of your life, I’m here for you.

If we’ve never worked together before, and you’re new to coaching, book a consultation first. It’s a no pressure conversation that will leave you feeling better, no matter how you want to proceed.

If you’re already a client, ready again to do some deep visionary work, book your sessions here.

 


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With what energy are you taking that action?

Posted on 4 August 2022

Taking action is important, but who and how you’re being within the actions you take is really the key.

Every action you choose to take can be made from a variety of energies.

For example, are you taking actions to make more money?

You can do that from excitement and creativity, from a knowing of your worthiness and the abundance of the universe, with a generosity of spirit and a healthy eagerness that has you leaning in to whatever opportunity is in front of you.

Or …you can take actions to make money from lack or greed, insecurity or superiority, grasping or jockeying yourself into position at the expense of yourself and others in such a way that may very well create abundance, but never feels like fulfillment.

It matters who you are being and what energy you take your actions from.

It matters because it’s the difference between fulfillment and dissatisfaction.

Do you know many people who are fulfilled and happy?

Are you one of them?

I want you to be.

I want you to be in touch with yourself enough to know when you’re taking actions from an energy that is off-base from your highest intentions, so you can correct course your energy.

I want you to do what you do from character and integrity, with a heart open to yourself and others — not to be a pushover or a doormat, but a person of substance and clarity, grounded and rooted in intention.

I want you to make money if you want to make money, be a leader if you want to be a leader, accomplish great things in the world if you want to create great things — not because you need to in order to feel good about yourself, but because you feel so good within yourself you know you can create what you desire to create!

If you want that too, it takes attention and care.

It’s easy to fall into lower energies of ego and insecurity. That’s why attention to your own energy, posture and attitude matters. It’s the inner work that creates a satisfying outer world.

If you could use a series of sessions to help you clear and align to your highest path, schedule a consultation. I’d love to work with you to create that which fulfills you most.

In the meantime, check into yourself. Who and how are you being as you navigate your world this month? Drop in to a gentle awareness of yourself and shift ever so slightly to an energy and posture that feels good on the inside. The choice is always there.


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Feeling discontent is not a bad thing

Posted on 28 July 2022

If you’ve been feeling stuck and grumpy about aspects of your life you used to enjoy, take it as a sign that you’re close to a growth edge.

A season of discontentment often comes before a season of change.

It’s natural to grow beyond what used to thrill you — and growth is good! Don’t resist it, or you’ll harden. (Note: When you catch yourself sounding jaded, that’s a red flag! Don’t let that become a habit.)

Instead, let your discontentment point you in a new direction.

Maybe you’re feeling discontent with a position that is too small for you. Maybe you’re grumpy because you’ve already mastered where you are and you feel bored. Maybe your spirit is guiding you to step forward as a leader, add something new to your repertoire, or venture into new endeavors. Look beyond where you’ve been. New horizons are ahead.

If you were growing into becoming MORE of who you are, in what direction would you grow?

Growth comes as an impulse from within. Yes, it can feel scary, but it can also be exciting and deeply satisfying. A lot of that depends on how you be with it, and how you support yourself through change.

I’m often the co-pilot of my client’s crazy adventures in change. There at the edge of growth, we don’t have an exact guidebook or roadmap, but we remember principles:

* It is good and right to change.
* There are clues in your longings and desires.
* You can trust your impulses and Life itself to guide you.
* The unknown has gifts for you
* There’s so much more to discover and become than what you’ve known before.
* You’re here to expand and learn from all your life experiences, and growth brings you gold, if you let it.

Are you there at that edge of a new becoming?

Be brave. Get excited about who you will be next.

Pay attention to what you’re wanting, instead of what you’re hating. Acknowledge what no longer feels like a match to you and begin divesting yourself from those areas. Release your attachments. Make space.

As you let yourself grow into the next version of yourself, who will you become?

More confident, perhaps?
More open-hearted?
More certain and authoritative in your field?
More sure of your value and worth?
More joyful and receptive?
More sassy or spicy or brave?
More of a tone setter and less of a follower?

I want that for you. I want you to grow and thrive. I want you to be more expressed and more fulfilled. That’s not wishful thinking. It’s your natural trajectory if you let it be.

P.S. A season of growth is a good season for coaching. Stay out of fear and limited thinking and get visionary with me. I offer a 12 session package for $2,000 to support you through just such a season. Book a consultation HERE.


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When you know how to do the inner work, you can create anything.

Posted on 13 July 2022

Are you poised on a growth edge this summer?

Eager to create something new and different?

So many of us are!

That’s why I’m offering this summer’s Inner Work Mastermind — because having a container that holds space for your transformation and supports you through change is valuable.

I WANT you to be fully equipped and supported so you can grow into the next version of yourself!

The tools I have to share with you in this series are ones I haven’t shared before. I’m bursting to give them to you because they’re the best I know so far.

The world is chaotic, the pressure and uncertainty that surrounds us has only grown, but the capacity to do the inner work — to root deeply within and know yourself — that’s what creates resilience and thriving.

I want you to know yourself better, be more kind to yourself than you were ever taught to be, and from that caring place, choose who you become.

Manage your mind. Tend to your feelings. Align yourself so action is easy.

From there, the world becomes YOURS. It shows up different and manifesting is easy. That’s what this Mastermind is all about.

I haven’t offered a group like this in quite a while, so I’m particularly excited.

In a mastermind I give you coaching and support and get to know you really well.  You also get to learn from the others in the group who are doing the same work as you.  Through sharing and supporting each other, we all grow.

Interested? Read more and register here.

If it sparks you, and feels like what you’ve been needing, say YES and join us. Give yourself what is FOR you. We begin tomorrow.


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Are you fully onboard with what you desire?

Posted on 11 July 2022

When you want to create something new or different in your life, one of the first steps is to truly get yourself onboard for it. It doesn’t work just to want something — you’ll have to change your thinking and shift your internal state to have what you desire.

It sounds simple, but it can feel really hard!

The problem within all of us is that the internal reality we’re weaving is often complicated and messy. We have a lot of thoughts in our heads – often very contradictory ones.

We can be thinking “I can do this” at the same time we’re arguing for how we can’t.
We can get excited about possibilities one minute, but be weighed down by cynicism the next.
We can project a confident personality, while shaming ourselves on the inside.

All of that inner conflict is read by the world around us no matter what we’re trying to project.

When I coach clients who are interviewing for new jobs, I know that the amazing position that seems elusive, will only remain so until they’ve grown into the higher self-esteem and self-image that matches the job. The desire requires this growth. When they can steadily hold thoughts about themselves that are healthy and balanced, they authentically feel confident and certain in their capacities, and in that congruence they light up in their interview in such a way that is unmistakable. That’s when the job lands in.

It’s the same with my client’s love lives, and financial goals, and health issues. It’s how creation works. When our inner conflicts dissipate, our thoughts, feelings and actions line up, and the results created are a match to that growth!

I say all this to remind you – learning to work with yourself and tend to your inner realms is the juiciest work! It’s actually one of the most important skills you can develop. You can know yourself, comfort yourself, grow yourself, and create yourself anew – over and over, by becoming aware of your thoughts, noticing your feeling states and choosing who you become.

Think better thoughts.
Love yourself through your inner conflicts.
Create habits that help you do this.

Cleaning up your messy mind and directing yourself towards healthy states of being is work, but it pays off exponentially.

You can do this inner work in coaching sessions with me, but you can also learn some basic self-coaching skills and tend to yourself on the daily. This is what I’m teaching in the upcoming Inner Work Mastermind. I’d like to have you. Read more and register HERE.


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Comparison won’t help you…

Posted on 2 July 2022

I often catch my clients measuring themselves against unrealistic standards by which they determine that they are a failure, or an imposter, or just not good enough. Do you do that to yourself, too? It’s not helpful.

Our brains, using inflated examples of people doing better than us, will make up impossible benchmarks that leave us feeling shitty in comparison to who and what we think we should be.  But feeling badly about yourself based on THAT will not help you be happier, more authentic or more fulfilled.

It’s more helpful to remember that there is no comparison when it comes to you.

No one has had the particular set of life circumstances you have had. No one else was born with the specific line up of stars and parents and environment of your experience. No one has lived your life before!

Heck, it’s 2022! We’ve never lived through times like these. There is no guidebook for this adventure.

From that perspective, give yourself a pat on the back.

You’re NOT doing badly!  You’re figuring it out as you go. And if your path isn’t feeling great, get interested in yourself.

What are you feeling about yourself? (Is it valid?)
What are you thinking? (Is it helpful?)
What are you wanting more of or less of?
Where are you showing up authentically?
Where are you pretending?
Is the path you’re on healthy?
Is it kind?
What would feel better to you?

Put your interest here, and you’ll learn something about yourself, from yourself.

I’ll tell you over and over — your wisdom comes from within, and your inner guidance will steer you true. But you do have to do the inner work to focus, reflect and listen. Often that means pausing to clean up your untrue thoughts and quieting your self-judgment.

I’ll partner with you in that work when you’re in sessions with me. Or, join this summer’s Mastermind program, and I’ll teach you how to the inner work anytime you’re in a spiral of thoughts and feelings that are driving you crazy.

You’re here to be yourself – happy and fulfilled, not miserable or comparing yourself to others. Invest yourself in the directions that matter, and everything else will fall into place.

 

P.S. When you know how to manage your thoughts and tend to your feelings, you are unstoppable. In this summer’s Inner Work Mastermind, I’ll teach you how. Group programs offer big growth. We begin July 11. Read more and register HERE.

P.S. If you’re on the verge of some big change or ready to transform an area of your life, it’s a good time to invest in coaching. I offer a 12 session series for $2000. Interested? Your first step is to book a consultation. You’ll tell me where you’re at, I’ll tell you how coaching can help, and you’ll decide from there if now is the time.

 

 


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No blame. No shame. Just receiving.

Posted on 15 June 2022

I love loving my clients. If you’ve worked with me, maybe you recognize this. I get to be the one who receives everything my clients have to share and embrace them through it. No judgment. No shame. Just love and receiving.

It’s important, this space of unconditional listening and love. It’s neutral and kind and wise.

I see you’re here and it makes sense.
You make sense.
Let’s just be present together with what’s here right now.

We can’t just rush to feeling better or making different choices. First we have to accept — This is what’s here. Here’s where I am. Here’s what I feel.

From there, when we’re not hot with self-judgment or shame, we see more. We’re no longer deflecting or cringing or defending. We’re present to what’s here in a space of awareness. Now, more is possible.

I’ve learned so much from loving my clients. Just as I’ve learned so much from all the work I’ve done to love myself. This last year my inner voice has softened even more. I often find myself journaling:

I love myself.
I like myself.
I’m proud of myself.
I feel kindly towards myself.

This resets me. It plugs me in to resilience and presence. When I’m not longer running away from my failings, I can be curious about what they’re revealing.

I’m not completely over judging myself or feeling overly responsible and bad about not being perfect. But more and more I’m acknowledging myself just as I acknowledge my clients — I’m doing the best I can here. I’m not messing up. I’m just living a gloriously messy imperfect beautiful life.

I’ve needed people to model this for me. I’ve needed someone else to hold space for me that was kind and compassionate, so that I could heal and grow. This is what I offer you.

As a coach that I help clients strategize and think though their actions, but the base of all sessions with me is this — and unconditional loving and receiving of who you are so you can also receive yourself. Here lies authenticity and power.

Could you use some of this kindness in your life?

Are you ripe to recreate your relationship with yourself?

I offer a 12 session coaching series for transformation and change. Over the course of several months you meet with me regularly. We get clear on what you’re aiming to become and use the session series as your container for growth and manifestation.

If that interests you, book a consultation. This is a full hour for you to tell me about all that’s a challenge in your life and to look forward towards what you want instead. It’s free. It’s fun. It’s my offer to you.


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