It was ME that had to change… not the circumstances.

Posted on 05 December 2018

I often remind clients that if you want something different in your life, you have to BE different. You have to be willing to change your points of view, your way of interacting with the world, and even your personality and identity, in order for your dreams to come true.

I had to remind myself of that last month… and change myself!

In October I was looking for a new home in Los Angeles. I was supposed to move out of my apartment by the end of the month, but I wasn’t finding my new place. My experience was this: everything on the market was ugly, or inconvenient, or too expensive, or in a neighborhood I didn’t want to live in. I knew what I was looking for, and I wasn’t finding it.

Now, here’s the thing — I DID know what I was looking for energetically, but I was also holding on to an idea of what I thought it should look like. I was looking for something like what I had had. I thought my new home would be a duplex or a guesthouse, or a small homey looking apartment building in a sweet neighborhood, and nothing like that was showing up.

One day, a week after I was supposed to have already moved out, I was so frustrated, I set out on my daily quest of looking at apartments, but this time I let myself give up my expectations. I knew I had to approach this search differently, so I softened and surrendered. “Today, I’m interested in beautiful places to live, no matter where they are or what form they come in,” I said aloud. In that was a willingness to expand my gaze and see what I hadn’t been seeing.

The first place I stopped was in a neighborhood in Glendale I’d recently discovered, but it was a BIG apartment complex — the kind of building I was sure I did NOT want to live in. Parking was easy, the leasing office was open, the leasing agent Rachel was available, and she walked me to an apartment that stunned me!  What?! This is BEAUTIFUL! It totally has the energy of what I’ve been looking for! Could I live here?


Four hours later, I was approved, with a moving date that weekend. It was that easy.

There’s so much more I could share about the miracles of this new home (the ease of moving in, the special the complex offered me, the furniture I bought that weekend that goes perfectly, the beauty of this new neighborhood), but do you get the essence of my story? I had conclusions about what I was looking for, that I couldn’t see past, until that one day I CHOSE to look past them.

I’m willing to see what I’m not seeing.
I’m willing to become something different than what I think I am.
I’m willing to to be surprised by what I can have and become.
I’m giving myself amnesia about all of my conclusions now.

And then what’s possible?


I’ve been in this new home for a few weeks now, and I feel like I’m living in a village. I like the big building, my balcony view of the city, my living room fireplace and super modern kitchen. I’m surprised by it all. It’s the upgrade I’d been asking for, and I’m amused that I almost wasn’t willing to have it.

What can you let go of today so that you can receive what you’ve been asking for?

Parts of yourself?
Conclusions about what things should look like?
Set points of view that limit your options?

Notice what lands in your life when YOU choose to be different.

If my story is helpful to you, I’d love to know. And, I’d also love to have you join me in any of the class offerings I’ve got on the calendar this month.  Check them out HERE.

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