Comparison won’t help you…

Posted on 02 July 2022

I often catch my clients measuring themselves against unrealistic standards by which they determine that they are a failure, or an imposter, or just not good enough. Do you do that to yourself, too? It’s not helpful.

Our brains, using inflated examples of people doing better than us, will make up impossible benchmarks that leave us feeling shitty in comparison to who and what we think we should be.  But feeling badly about yourself based on THAT will not help you be happier, more authentic or more fulfilled.

It’s more helpful to remember that there is no comparison when it comes to you.

No one has had the particular set of life circumstances you have had. No one else was born with the specific line up of stars and parents and environment of your experience. No one has lived your life before!

Heck, it’s 2022! We’ve never lived through times like these. There is no guidebook for this adventure.

From that perspective, give yourself a pat on the back.

You’re NOT doing badly!  You’re figuring it out as you go. And if your path isn’t feeling great, get interested in yourself.

What are you feeling about yourself? (Is it valid?)
What are you thinking? (Is it helpful?)
What are you wanting more of or less of?
Where are you showing up authentically?
Where are you pretending?
Is the path you’re on healthy?
Is it kind?
What would feel better to you?

Put your interest here, and you’ll learn something about yourself, from yourself.

I’ll tell you over and over — your wisdom comes from within, and your inner guidance will steer you true. But you do have to do the inner work to focus, reflect and listen. Often that means pausing to clean up your untrue thoughts and quieting your self-judgment.

I’ll partner with you in that work when you’re in sessions with me. Or, join this summer’s Mastermind program, and I’ll teach you how to the inner work anytime you’re in a spiral of thoughts and feelings that are driving you crazy.

You’re here to be yourself – happy and fulfilled, not miserable or comparing yourself to others. Invest yourself in the directions that matter, and everything else will fall into place.

 

P.S. When you know how to manage your thoughts and tend to your feelings, you are unstoppable. In this summer’s Inner Work Mastermind, I’ll teach you how. Group programs offer big growth. We begin July 11. Read more and register HERE.

P.S. If you’re on the verge of some big change or ready to transform an area of your life, it’s a good time to invest in coaching. I offer a 12 session series for $2000. Interested? Your first step is to book a consultation. You’ll tell me where you’re at, I’ll tell you how coaching can help, and you’ll decide from there if now is the time.

 

 


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