How my tree got decorated yesterday…

Posted on 9 December 2019

My niece and nephew came over yesterday and helped me decorate my Christmas tree. This is a tradition they started with me last year after I told them that I wasn’t sure I’d decorate my home for the holidays — I mean, it is only me in the house after all!  Ruby, who was 9 at the time, immediately said, “Oh, it’s okay, we’ll come help you!” Then she arranged with my brother, her Dad, to actually do that. They came over on a Sunday and had a blast being in charge of decorating my home.

I know better than to refuse a generous offer! And they lit my place up with festive cheer in a manner that humbled me.

This year, I figured I should lean in and receive that help again. Why? Because it created so much for me, but also for Ruby and Royal. It’s a way they get to show their love for me, and whenever I soften and let people love me, it reverberates through my life too. It deepens our relationship. It grows our joy. (Catch a glimpse of that here.)

I wonder — in how many more areas I can relax enough to receive the gifts that I’m being offered?

For you, December might be a month full of activities, or a month in which you shy away from all of that. You could feel stress or pressure, or your inner Grinch might be surfacing.  But instead of contracting, soften and relax. Notice what is being offered to you.

Who is reaching out to create with you?
Who wants to love you?
Where can you be generous in your receiving?

To actually receive you might have to show up, say yes, or go to the store to get ready. I had to dig out the Christmas decorations and cookie cutters to prepare for my niece and nephew helping me, but doing so brought out my own inner generosity. How fun can I let this day be? What would add to it? Fresh baked cookies? Homemade lunch? Silly hats? Yes!

In this spirit, activities aren’t exhausting. They’re rejuvenating.

That’s what I wish for you.

May you receive the season with an open heart and generous spirit. May this month for you be joy-filled.


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When change comes, get out of your way…

Posted on 22 November 2019

A client booked a session with me on Tuesday after getting news that an aspect of her business was going to have to change. It was the kind of news that could have sent her in a tail-spin —thus the coaching session. In a note to me in my calendar, she said she wanted to trust the expansion and get of her way so that she could meet the change with a sense of possibility. I was down for that!

You can’t control all the circumstances of your life. Things change continually. But whether you meet change with anxiety or with hopefulness — that’s in your control.

My client knows this, and she knew that facing this particular change with anxiety would create more chaos. She was aiming for calm, confidence and a sense of Life taking care of her.

Life can feel like a chaotic storm, but somewhere in the middle of the storm there IS a calm point. If you can center yourself, you can find it. From there you can relax. From there you can access an inner sense of optimism and hopefulness.

How is this what I’ve been asking for?
What can I create with this that it’s an even greater match to who I am now?
What are the possibilities of this turning out even better than I’ve envisioned?

When you view life with a healthy sense of optimism, a storm doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience. It could actually be a rejuvenating thrill!

I don’t know how this business situation is going to unfold for my client, but she’s ready for it. The story will probably have ups and downs (like all good stories do), but I know a few months down the road we will be celebrating how it all worked out. We’ll appreciate what was created. And my client will have it all as gold.

If calming your fears and shifting your energy doesn’t feel so easy, I get it! It’s simple, but depending on the level of anxiety you’re in, it can be hard to do on your own. No shame in that. That’s what coaching is for. Book a session. I’m here for you.

#Calm #Confident #HealthyDoseOfOptimism #LifeCoach #BeyondAnxiety


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It didn’t show up the way I thought it would…

Posted on 5 November 2019

I can’t tell you how many things I’ve manifested in my life that I almost didn’t notice had arrived —because they didn’t show up the way I expected.

Like this: I want a new friend, and I’m staring at people I think might make good friends, but it’s not happening. We’re not clicking, and I’m frustrated. Then, I come home one weekend and realize — I’d just had the friend experience I was wanting, from someone I didn’t expect. It was all initiated by her, and our conversation was super nurturing to me. Wow!

Or this: I’m looking and looking for the next level of professional development, scouting courses and comparing programs for months. Nothing lands in as a fit, no matter how much I search. Then, one day it dawns on me that an unrelated class I’m taking for fun has actually just given me everything I was seeking to up-level my coaching. It arrived as a bonus, cost me nothing extra, and it met me right where I was at.

Isn’t that interesting?

It never happens the way I think it’s going to happen. But it does happen!

I like to remind my clients of this often, because I see it with them too. Our minds try really hard to imagine the scenario, the direction, the way it’s all going to show up for us, but we can’t. In fact, whatever direction we’re staring at intensely can’t deliver for us when we’re filling it with our push-and-pull effort.

What we are seeking most often comes from a direction in which we are not being hyper-vigilant or hyper-controlling. We can even miss it if we’re too wrapped up in our frustration and expectation.

It’s good to remember this. Relax about your desires. Be easy about them. Hold them loosely in your thoughts. Be aware of what is to the left of you, and the right of you, what’s behind you, and what’s on the horizon. Expand your gaze into your periphery and notice what is showing up for you.

Life is always showing up for you. New experiences and people and possibilities are always arriving. Your job is to receive them, delight in them, and appreciate all that life creates for you. And that is something you can practice.

November is a good month to pull out a gratitude journal, and acknowledge what you have been manifesting. Or sign up for this month’s daily class, Living Abundance, and explore how the energy of receiving generates more abundance.

Life is good at delivering. Soften to receive it.


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When you’re feeling like there isn’t enough for you…

Posted on 1 November 2019

There is more than enough for you… are you feeling it?

There is more than enough time, money, resources, and support for you to have your needs met.

If you aren’t feeling that there is, I understand that. There’s a lot of stress on the planet, and a lot of feeling of scarcity. It’s all around you. It could be the vibe in your office, or with your loved ones, or maybe you feel the desperation as soon as you get on the freeway. But when you catch yourself in it, that’s your cue to pause and reset.

What you need is here too.

There is a way to it. There is a way for it to manifest. There is a way to access it.

To get to it, you must shift your energy, or you won’t even see it.

Remind yourself: There is enough. There is a way. There is a whole other set of possibilities available to me. There is another reality than this.

Say that aloud. Then repeat it again.

Can you feel the quiet space inside of you that remembers that?

As you shift back to center, you harmonize with circumstances instead of trying to control them. You surrender to what’s here, and you don’t sink — you float! The problems that appeared so big, dissolve as you stop wrestling with them.

The more you practice tuning into that energy of ‘more than enough’, the easier life flows, and the more you’ll experience your needs being met.

Book sessions when you need help. Establish your own daily practice to find your center and open to Life. Or join this year’s Living Abundance class for 22 days of energy shifting conversation, and practice with me.

There is more than enough support for you. Have it.


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My Grandma passed away this week…

Posted on 19 October 2019

My Grandma passed away this week at 100 years old. She was in Alaska, so I wasn’t at her side, but I’ve been feeling her close in my heart as memories flood me. It’s tender to remember.

I gathered a collection of photos and wrote a short tribute to her on social media — you can see it here.

Years ago, I worked on my relationship with my Grandma with the very first life coach I ever hired. I was about to change careers, so I thought we’d talk about money, goals, and vision, but instead she guided me to look deeper at my own identity, and the fear and self-doubt patterns that intertwined.

For weeks, every session seemed to circle back around to Grandma.

Grandma was the person everyone said I looked like. She instilled the importance of politeness and respect in me. She praised me often for being quiet and good. She set the tone in our family, and I wanted to please her. But… I also felt defiant around Grandma, and I couldn’t express that.

I wanted to please Grandma and be loved, but I also needed the space to be me, and that space wasn’t offered. Thus, a inner split formed in my identity — on the outside I appeared one way, on the inside I guarded my truth.

My coach and I looked at that together. She guided me through forgiveness work. She helped me bring new information to old memories. She gave me the space to express and hear myself. She helped me dissolve shame and free myself from what I perceived were Grandma’s rules. This was deeply healing.

This work around my relationship with Grandma felt like a detour, but it wasn’t. It was necessary. In order to step forward in my life, I needed to be able to honor my truth without separating from others.

And of course, after all those sessions with my coach, my relationship with my Grandma entirely changed! I’m grateful for that more than I can say.

I don’t know if sharing this is a gift to you, but I hope it is. I hope it helps you to soften in some way towards yourself, your biggest teachers (like my Grandma was to me!), and this learning journey that is your life.

If you could use some support this month, my heart is wide open and ready to receive you.  Book some sessions.  We can sink deep together, shine light on what’s submerged within you, and heal anything.


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When things aren’t working out the way you think they should…

Posted on 8 October 2019

Not everything in your life needs to work out.
Not every job is for you.
Not every relationship is going to be idyllic.

And that’s not wrong.

You’re not wrong.

Many things in your life, despite your effort or best intentions, will not turn out the way you think they should.

Don’t judge yourself for that. In fact, if you do judge yourself, you’ll miss the point.

Experiencing what doesn’t suit you gives you more clarity about what does. It’s how you attain wisdom. It grows you.

Ask yourself:

How is this a gift?
What am I learning here?
What new vision or desire is this giving me?

Down the road, you’ll have even more perspective, but for now, relax. If you need to quit, break up or move away from something you’ve been trying to force into perfection, then you will. And it will be okay.

Give yourself credit for your resilience. Trust the process.

Life is for you, not against you.

If you could use support and a no-judgment zone, that’s what I offer. Book some sessions and we’ll shine light on it together. But in the meantime, give yourself the time and space to be where you are.

The more you relax, the more you’ll know.


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What stories and scripts are you using to create your life?

Posted on 2 October 2019

Are the stories you’re telling creating the life you want to live?

Maybe they’re not!

A few months ago I realized I had slipped into telling a story about my business that was pretty ‘meh’.  People would ask, “How’s your business?” and I would say ‘fine’ and change the subject.

I’ve been coaching full time for ten years, so it’s normal for it to not have the same luster it once had, right?

Hmmm… That’s one way to look at it.

I heard my tone and noticed my words.  They weren’t a lie, but they also weren’t totally true.  I realized — I could do better.

Actually, I love my work.  I love that when I talk to people their worlds expand, their energy changes, and they’re grateful for that.  My clients are wonderful people, and being on their team is a delight!   My business is awesome. It’s a path I created that allows me to contribute to the world. I am grateful!

That is a different story.  It feels so much better because it acknowledges the work, my clients, my business and myself.  And it’s TRUE!

The thing is, I didn’t revise my story with a fake energy. That enthusiasm was there, it was just buried under some internal ‘blahs’ and unconsciousness.  But the revision is important.  What I lead with, is what I generate.

I want to be conscious of the stories I’m telling and how I’m telling them.

If I tell stories that begin with complaints, I am setting a tone in my life that will generate more of that.  If I tell stories that are sparse on appreciation, then I become less aware of the gifts of my life.

The years I described myself as uncoordinated and unathletic — I was.
The years I complained about men — those were rough years with men.
The years I told stories about being an outsider — I was the outsider.

Sure, I had circumstances and experiences that backed up my stories, but other evidence was ALSO there.  And I was ignoring it.

What am I choosing to highlight?
What am I focusing on?
What am I declaring to be the truth of my life?

It’s my choice.  And it’s also yours.

If you’re telling stories that are not creating the life you want to live, come revise your narratives with me.

…..

Stories & Scripts, October’s online life skills class begins Friday, October 4.

It’s five classes in a month.  We meet by zoom or phone.  Each class is recorded and is yours to keep.

The class is $149 and it just might be exactly what you’re higher self has been asking for.

Read more HERE.

Or just say yes and register.

….

Did my stories spark you to consider your stories? Ask yourself:

  • Have I typically cast myself as an outsider or an insider?
  • Do I lead with what went wrong or what went right?
  • When I speak of myself, do I do it with judgment or self-compassion?
  • Do my stories generate new possibilities or perpetuate problems?

Again… this class will not be about by-passing your feelings or sugar-coating your experiences, but it will challenge you to revise your stories to be empowering narratives.


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Who’s on your list?

Posted on 24 September 2019

I have a client with a big job interview today. In a session yesterday, she told me that she’s worried that she’s not in her best form right now. What if she shows up to the interview and she’s not as bright, confident, and bad-ass as she can be? That made her even more nervous; I could hear the anxiety rising as she played out that scenario.

As I’m on her team, I pulled her back from that edge with this reminder — “You’ll do your best, you haven’t bombed an interview yet, and even if you do, it’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect all the time for things to work out.”

That helped. Yet, sometimes it’s hard enough to calm your own anxiety, much less remember what’s awesome about you. So, we made a list of people who think she’s awesome — people who see her with eyes of love, respect, and appreciation.

I was on that list, of course, along with a good group of girlfriends, a few close colleagues, people she’s mentored, former supervisors, a family member or two, and even a close friend who died. The list felt good to her, and evoking their perspective easily reminded her of who she is.

Who would be on YOUR list?

* Who’s got your back?
* Who reminds you of what’s great about you?
* Who can make you laugh even when you’re in the dumps?
* Who thinks you are awesome?
* Who believes in you?
* Who can testify to your talent?
* Who can you count on to be a good reference?
* Who can you call on to help you reset?
* Who gives you real hugs?
* Who inspires you to grow and celebrates your success?
* Who would you want at your side in an emergency?
* Who is hopeful about your future no matter your circumstance?

The people who give you any or all of that — put them on YOUR list. They’re on YOUR TEAM.

You can cultivate a bigger team if your list seems small. You can strengthen your team but plugging into it more often. You can appreciate your team members and receive even more from them by reaching out virtually or physically. (Take a quick moment to send out some love and gratitude right now!)

Does just THINKING of these people lift you into a higher sense of yourself and life? How do they see you? How do they see your life? How do they love you? Have some of that. Seriously —HAVE IT!

Use your team to keep you lifted, and if you need a life coach on your team, hire me! I’m here, and I’ve got more than enough optimism, perspective and kindness to share with you.

You’re not alone. Be supported.

P.S. Put me on your team! You can:

* Book a free consultation to talk about working together.
* Book some coaching sessions and find your inner clarity.
* Join e in LA for intimate workshops (The House of Healing is this Saturday the 28th)
* Or sign up for a virtual class (Stories & Scripts begins Oct 4)


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Pausing doesn’t slow you down… it paves the way.

Posted on 21 August 2019

I did a session last week with a client who was getting for a pitch at Warner Brothers. She emailed this morning to tell me how well it went and how much fun and ease she had in it. I celebrated that with her! It was a BIG DEAL. And, also I wasn’t surprised. She’d readied herself.

When something big is in front of you, honor yourself with a pause.

What do I feel in my body about this?
What do I know?
What do I want to create here (for me, for them, for all of us?)?
How might I show up to create that?

Give yourself the space to find your center, to access that energy, to have your clarity. Then step forward gently… You can’t predict what will be created, but being present with yourself as you walk through that pitch, that interview, that meeting, that family gathering, that conversation — THAT is gold.

And you being centered, clear and present — that changes the room.

Take those questions above and use them. Then let me know what they create for you!

If you’d like support getting ready for the next big thing in front of you, book some sessions or sign up for my next daily practice class, Pause & Know. I’m here for you.


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Sessions Are For You

Posted on 10 July 2019

Sessions are for you. They’re your place to lay it all out. What’s in your head? What are you believing? What are you thinking? What story are you telling? And is it even true?

I’ll ask you questions and listen deeply. Together we’ll follow the energy.

Where might you be pushing too hard?
Where are you controlling what isn’t yours to control?
Where can you speak up?
Where can you let go?

Sometimes you need someone with you, not getting lost in the story or the feelings, helping you see it all with more objectivity. You can climb to the balcony to view your choices from a broader and bigger perspective — in fact you can get really good at doing that! — but, sometimes it hard to make it up there on your own. That’s why you talk it out with me.

I love this work! What we create together when we take the high view, always excites ms.

You can give up the struggle.
You can transform the problem.
You can find the wisdom and the energy inside of you to take action.
You can stop judging yourself (or others).
You can set a new tone that shifts everything.

That’s what sessions give you – the remembrance that you can and the energy to do it.

 

Start with a 4 SESSION SERIES

4 / 60 min phone sessions

$497


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