It was ME that had to change… not the circumstances.

Posted on 5 December 2018

I often remind clients that if you want something different in your life, you have to BE different. You have to be willing to change your points of view, your way of interacting with the world, and even your personality and identity, in order for your dreams to come true.

I had to remind myself of that last month… and change myself!

In October I was looking for a new home in Los Angeles. I was supposed to move out of my apartment by the end of the month, but I wasn’t finding my new place. My experience was this: everything on the market was ugly, or inconvenient, or too expensive, or in a neighborhood I didn’t want to live in. I knew what I was looking for, and I wasn’t finding it.

Now, here’s the thing — I DID know what I was looking for energetically, but I was also holding on to an idea of what I thought it should look like. I was looking for something like what I had had. I thought my new home would be a duplex or a guesthouse, or a small homey looking apartment building in a sweet neighborhood, and nothing like that was showing up.

One day, a week after I was supposed to have already moved out, I was so frustrated, I set out on my daily quest of looking at apartments, but this time I let myself give up my expectations. I knew I had to approach this search differently, so I softened and surrendered. “Today, I’m interested in beautiful places to live, no matter where they are or what form they come in,” I said aloud. In that was a willingness to expand my gaze and see what I hadn’t been seeing.

The first place I stopped was in a neighborhood in Glendale I’d recently discovered, but it was a BIG apartment complex — the kind of building I was sure I did NOT want to live in. Parking was easy, the leasing office was open, the leasing agent Rachel was available, and she walked me to an apartment that stunned me!  What?! This is BEAUTIFUL! It totally has the energy of what I’ve been looking for! Could I live here?

YES!

Four hours later, I was approved, with a moving date that weekend. It was that easy.

There’s so much more I could share about the miracles of this new home (the ease of moving in, the special the complex offered me, the furniture I bought that weekend that goes perfectly, the beauty of this new neighborhood), but do you get the essence of my story? I had conclusions about what I was looking for, that I couldn’t see past, until that one day I CHOSE to look past them.

I’m willing to see what I’m not seeing.
I’m willing to become something different than what I think I am.
I’m willing to to be surprised by what I can have and become.
I’m giving myself amnesia about all of my conclusions now.

And then what’s possible?

EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN ASKING FOR!!!!

I’ve been in this new home for a few weeks now, and I feel like I’m living in a village. I like the big building, my balcony view of the city, my living room fireplace and super modern kitchen. I’m surprised by it all. It’s the upgrade I’d been asking for, and I’m amused that I almost wasn’t willing to have it.

What can you let go of today so that you can receive what you’ve been asking for?

Parts of yourself?
Conclusions about what things should look like?
Set points of view that limit your options?

Notice what lands in your life when YOU choose to be different.

If my story is helpful to you, I’d love to know. And, I’d also love to have you join me in any of the class offerings I’ve got on the calendar this month.  Check them out HERE.


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Could you use some space?

Posted on 29 November 2018

Would it be a kindness to yourself to book some sessions?

Sessions are your place to lay it all out, hear yourself, receive perspective, and shift energy.

Sessions give you the space to relax, to expand, to breathe.

You can do a series over weeks, or months, or days…

How you use them is up to you.

1 session / $150
4 sessions / $497

Book your time here: https://my.timetrade.com/book/MNQYL

#GiveYourselfSpace #LifeCoaching #Healing #Expansion #Clarity


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Abundance or Scarcity?

Posted on 30 October 2018

How’s it going? Check your abundance meters! Are you letting yourself have the abundance life is giving you?

I experience abundance as more than enough. it’s having all my needs met and a sense of well-being and fullness. It’s money. But it’s more than that. It’s an overflowing space of possibility. There is no shortage. There is no lack. Everything is here now, and I am grateful. I receive it all and expand into more.

That’s abundance! It’s an ENERGY!

Can you tap into that right now?

The crazy thing about THAT energy is that it’s available ALL THE TIME!

Yet, very often we don’t choose it. And of course we don’t — the circumstances of our lives are so distracting – bank balances, unexpected bills, to-do lists that we can’t keep up with, and overwhelm.

When we collapse and see only the surface problems, we get nervous. The clench of worry and fear is the bad habit of scarcity.  Anxiety generates more scarcity and fear, and, Friends, I know…. climbing out of that rabbit hole can take some work!

Or just practice. 😉

Living the energy of abundance in your life is a choice you can make easily and quickly with practice. It’s an energetic state that you can be so familiar with, it’s easy to choose when you catch yourself clenching in worry or collapsing in overwhelm. And the beauty of this simple choice is that BEING the energy of abundance is what actually shifts your circumstances.

First you BE it, then you create it. It doesn’t work the other way around.

Be the energy of abundance by opening up, turning on a flow of gratitude, delighting it what you already have. From there the bills get paid more easily, the projects at work smooth out, the kindness of strangers makes it way in, and the things that were problems before aren’t any more.

Be it. And the worlds changes.

Starting Thursday, November 1, BEING the energy of abundance is our aim for 21 Days in a row. Would you like to join us?  The class is Living Abundance: a 21 Day practice class in HAVING it all and RECEIVING more.

Or book some abundance sessions this month. I’d love to have one on one time with you to talk about all the stuff you’re perceiving as ‘problems’ that don’t have to be.

it’s your life. Embrace it with the energies that actually create more for you.


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Are you asking big questions about your life?

Posted on 18 October 2018

Are you asking big questions about your life?
Are you looking under the surface and re-evaluating where you are and why?

If you’re questioning yourself and your life, give yourself the kindness of a listening ear.

Everyone needs to talk.

When you have the space to talk that out, it gets easier.

Hire a coach.

In a coaching session you explore the big questions.  You reach into the unknown.  You get curious about what else is possible.

You let the big questions to propel you forward into something greater.

***

If you’re ready to dive into the big questions with support, book a session with me. Our first conversation is 75 minutes for $150.

Schedule here: https://my.timetrade.com/book/MNQYL


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Sometimes your old reality has to break…

Posted on 28 September 2018

What’s going on in your world? Anything changing?

It is in my world. Some of the change this year was change I knew was coming. Some of it has caught me by surprise. Can you relate?

My job, as I see it, is to stay present and be aware through all the shifts and changes. The earth can move under my feet. Structures of my life can dissolve. And, I can still stand tall, be flexible, and stay conscious through it all.

One of my favorite teachers, Dain Heer says, “Sometimes your old reality has to break before your new reality shows up.”

Yep! It’s not a bad thing… even if it temporarily rocks you.

I’ve been lifting my gaze to the horizon a lot, asking a lot questions. Where am I going with my life? What am I aiming for?

Big questions actually steady me. They guide me forward and help me navigate change.

What’s important to me?
What am I creating as my future by my choices?
What could I have five, ten, fifteen years from now if I head towards it now?
And what else could I choose that will expand me, add to my life, bring me joy?

I like asking these questions. I like perceiving the ‘next grandest version of my life’ ahead of me in the future. And as I perceive it, I know I’m bringing it to life. My future begins to brighten and beckon me forward. I follow that energy and it informs my path now.

That’s what I’ve been working on — asking a lot of questions about my future, perceiving what’s possible, and spending time in that energy. I’ve done it before — I’ve aimed for a whole new reality and a very different version of my life. I created what I envisioned, even thought at some point it seemed impossible. I bet you have too!

Is it time to vision again? To set course towards a future that excites you? If it is, join me for a 5 week Futuring Class in October or book some sessions.

If your view of the future doesn’t light you up and pull you forward, pause and ask yourself more questions.

Point yourself another direction. Choose greater.

It’s your life. You get to create it.


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Is your whole life changing?

Posted on 28 September 2018

When you’re riding the waves of change, get support.

You’ve got the strength inside of you to walk through whatever comes up in your life.

You can meet even the most unexpected circumstances with inner resilience. You can flow with change, instead of resisting it.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to feel totally sane all the time.

Your Life Coach will remind you of what you’re aiming for. In sessions, you’ll lay it all out and look at it together. You’ll get present to what’s really important. You’ll perceive the bigger picture. You’ll access your knowing. You’ll find your feet under you and stand up tall.

The ground beneath you may be different, but after a big change, you just may be more YOU.

#HireACoach #LifeCoaching #GiveYourselfSupport #BookSessionsWhenYouNeedThem

….

If you’ve never worked with me before, schedule a 20 minute phone consultation HERE.

Or just hop into my client calendar HERE and we’ll dive in!


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A couple of books I keep recommending to clients…

Posted on 18 September 2018

I’m a big fan of books, and the impact they can have on our thinking.  So many times a book has expanded me into realms I didn’t know where possible. So I read a lot. And I recommend many books to clients.  This month, these are the two books I’m mentioning the most.

I purchased Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As if  Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss because it kept coming up in my ‘recommended’ book titles on Audible. I had no idea why — it didn’t LOOK like a book I’d pick out or enjoy… but, it’s so cool to be surprised! Within the first chapter I was a raving fan of the author — a former FBI hostage negotiator — for his insight on the dynamics of a conversation. Each chapter had tools for me to practice — like, creating a conversation in which people can say no to me over and over, so they get to be in control, without pressure, and just may be more willing to say YES when I’d really like them to say yes. It works brilliantly! And, while this is about negotiation and manipulation, it’s also kind. When we can communicate with people in a manner that honors and acknowledges what they require, MORE is created! I wouldn’t mind living in a world in which Chris Voss is negotiating on behalf of ‘we the people’.

This Is Day One: a Practical Guide to Leadership That Matters by Drew Dudley is sweet, raw and an easy read, yet it will leave you inspired and more present in your life. As a leadership book, it’s not militaristic or rigid — it’s caring and expansive. Drew challenged my laissez faire attitude about some major aspects of my life. He’s a brilliant story teller, and the characters he introduced me to touched me deeply. He also plays with questions — ones you can ask each day about what you chose. These have worked their way into my daily routine: How was I kind today? What did I choose that was caring for my body? In what ways did I nurture my business today? As I ask myself those questions at the end of the day, I measure and acknowledge what really matters.


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Are you at a crossroads?

Posted on 21 August 2018

Are you at a crossroads?  Do you have some big decisions to make?

Can you see your choices clearly? Or is it all a bit muddled to you?

Perhaps you see where you want to be, but you can’t see how you’ll get there.

This is a good time to hire a coach.

You’ll lay it all out. You’ll unpack the options. You’ll get clarity on what’s in front of you.

What is the next step?

Who do you need to be as you take it?

What can you create that works better for you and for everyone else too?

As you talk it through with your coach, you gain perspective. 
You lift your head higher. 
You perceive more possibilities than you would on your own.

Your inner fears don’t dictate your actions. 
Your inner knowing does.

With your coach, you get vulnerable, and from there you are more conscious.

It’s the gift you give yourself that makes everything else you’re facing easier.

Over time you do get to where you wanted to go. 
And you’re proud of how you got there.

 

****

Are YOU at a crossroads? Do you have a mountain of decisions to make?

Book a session with me. Our first conversation is 75 minutes for $150.

Schedule here: https://my.timetrade.com/book/MNQYL


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Do you approach as a critic?

Posted on 14 August 2018

Have you noticed that how you approach anything matters a great deal?

If you lead with criticism or barge in with a strong-arm agenda, you’re likely to create conflict.

Yet, when you approach anything — a person, place, situation, animal, or your own body! — with curiosity and no judgment, you create a spacious field of possibility.

Say hi.
Acknowledge what’s there.
Be spacious and open.
Have interest and curiosity.

What does that create?

Relaxation. Possibility. A listening and receiving from which something new can be created.

Really. Try this with an animal. With your boss. With the TSA agent at the airport. With your mother. With a baby. With your garden.

And Friends… try it with your BODY!

How often have you greeted your body with a steel intent to shape it into something else?
Or a desire to mask what it really looks like?
Or a frustration at it’s apparent dysfunction?

Does your iron will over your body really create more?  Or does it actually create a war?

Try something different.

In last month’s Dominant Energy class, we played with the potent energy of softness and kindness, and one of my students requested that in our next class we focus this energy on our bodies. She even gave me the name of this new class — Happy with My Body. And so it is. We begin this week.

We’ve got tools, and ten weeks to practice choosing something new with our bodies. I’ll guide you with weekly calls and assignments. Does this light you up?

Feel into the possibility.

If you approached your body differently, and actually chose to be happy with it, would that change your body?

Might it actually create the space for your body to contribute to you, respond to your requests, or heal with ease?

If those questions excite your body, say yes and join the Happy With My Body class.

We begin our pre-launch on Friday, August 17 and continue for ten Mondays in a row.

Also, as a warm up to that class, I’m offering two FREE calls this week — You and Your Body Relationship Coaching Zooms — and I’d love to have you join us.

Click HERE to read more and register. 

Lead with kindness, and approach with gentleness.

And what else is possible?


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Are you too hard on yourself?

Posted on 6 August 2018

Sometimes a coaching session is like a confessional. People tell me things they haven’t told other people. They lay it all out, because I’m listening without any judgment.

And here’s something I have learned from years of listening….

People who learn to laugh at the disasters they’ve created or the crap they have chosen can change it with far more agility than people who beat themselves up for it.

Judgment is rigid.
Laughter is an easy energy for pivoting.

Often, as a coach, that’s what I provide. A wider and lighter perspective. And the easy space of allowance in which laughter is possible.

“What did you do? 
Wow! That was a mess!”

And we giggle.

“What did you say? 
Ouch! That did not calm anything down, did it?”

And we snort.

We, as the people we are, are funny. Sometimes we do ALL the wrong things. Sometimes we act like total fools. Sometimes our grasping, our insecurities, our tempers run the show.

And so it is…

Does it have to be a big deal?

Find yourself cute.

And choose again.

Apologize if it’s needed.

Make amends if that will create more.

And CHOOSE AGAIN!

Pivot into a different energy, a different choice, a different creation.

You get as many shots at this things called YOUR LIFE as you choose. And just because you’d re-do it a different way if you had a chance, doesn’t make you a failure.

You learn as you go. And that’s just how it is.

***
 
Interested in working with me? Book a time. First session is $150.
 

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