Choose the good thoughts

Posted on 22 September 2023

The more you cultivate healthy thoughts and beliefs, the more easily you create a healthy and fulfilling life.

And how do you have a healthy mind?

You slow down and reflect.

You pay attention to what lifts you up and what sends you into a negative spiral.

You give yourself nurturing conversations and high quality ideas.

There are plenty of thoughts out there to think. As your life coach, I want to remind you to choose the good ones —

Good thoughts about yourself.

Good thoughts about your partner, your job, your children, your life…

Good thoughts about the world.

Often my clients will pause in sessions to take notes on the simply truths we find together that open their minds and steady their emotions. They write them down so that later, when under pressure or tossing and turning in bed, they remember where to train their mind to go.

High quality thoughts are often pretty simple, like:

Everyone here, including me, is doing the best they can.

Even though this feels painful, it’s not personal.

There is a solution and a way through this.

After I take the next step, I’ll know more.

Everything you’re experiencing can be perceived from multiple valid points of view. You mind will get cluttered, especially in times of stress.

It can be entirely reasonable to think negative thoughts about your life. It can be completely logical to be cynical. But it doesn’t serve you.

Don’t get comfortable in thought patterns that send you low. They’re not the only ones to think.

When you clean up your thoughts that’s when inspiration can arrive.

Choose thoughts that open your heart and lift you up.

Choose thoughts that give you a higher perspective and context for whatever is in front of you.

Choose thoughts that are conducive to creative solutions.

Need help with that? I’m here for it.

…

Book sessions to clean up your thinking and find your alignment. Work with me seasonally or commit to regular weekly sessions. If we’ve never worked together before, schedule a free consultation first.

Take an intention break

Posted on 8 September 2023

Pick a specific area of your life and ask some questions with me (it could be a situation at work, a relationship that’s important to you, a plan, project or investment).

Zoom out to look at this area of your life, then ask:

What is unfolding here?

Does it work for me?

Does it feel good and right?

If so, revel in it. Open your heart to feel satisfaction in what’s here.

A pause to appreciate and savor creates a lot of momentum.

If not, stay curious. Slow down and look again.

Become a little more intentional.

What would I really like to experience here?

What do I want this area of your life to feel like?

What could I imagine creating for myself here that’s better? 

What would that also create for others?

Good. Now, let yourself feel it as if it were so — as if this was your reality instead. Let those feelings work their way through your body. There’s information there.

If you can imagine, even generally, with feeling and an upelveled intention, something different and better, you’ve begun creating it.

Now you’re pointed in that direction, ready for new inspiration — which will come, because you’ve begun calling for it.

This is how intention works.

Being intentional is a practice. Sometimes it’s hard to focus this way, but I’m here for it if you could use help. Book sessions as needed.

What it is to do the inner work…

Posted on 30 August 2023

Life is messy and you are in process.. You have ups and downs, good feeling moments and terrible feeling moments; and sometimes it looks and feels so chaotic you have a hard time steadying yourself.

Patience, Friend. There’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s part of the journey.

Don’t expect to always feel good. Instead, build a resilient inner experience of peace and well-being by shoring up beliefs in your enoughness.

This is what it is to do the inner work.

Feel your feelings.

Sort through your thoughts.

Find the healthiest ones and lean into those.

Then sink even deeper into the calm of your healthy beliefs and let inner clarity and vision arise.

When I’m with clients, this is the core of our work together.

Over and over I witness my clients turning inward, and finding access to the resources, impulses and inspiration they need to meet what is here.

Try it.

Take a breath. Steady yourself.

Remind yourself of what is true about you.

I don’t have to be perfect.

I am a messy human being, but I’m also whole and complete, and enough as I am.

I like other people’s approval, but mostly I need my own approval here.

I am okay.

I am a work in progress.

All of this is a learning journey.

Keep breathing.

What else might you remind yourself? And what else do you know?

When you could use support on the journey, book sessions. I’m here for it.

Why work with a coach

Posted on 23 August 2023

In the course of your life you are going to weather many things. Sometimes the economy will impact you, or changes in your industry will disrupt your career path. In other seasons it’ll be your family that will having you spinning, or conflict with your ex as you’re trying to co-parent together.

Inevitably life will grow you — sometimes through hard times, and sometimes through great times.

How you walk through it all matters.

Where do you direct your thoughts and your attention?

With what energy do you meet the situation in front of you?

How do you choose the best path forward?

People book coaching sessions to have these conversations with me.

My clients may not always have the answers, even about what they want, but they have a strong intention to navigate the circumstances in their life from integrity, character and choice. That intention guides their work with me and their way forward.

As a coach, I’m not best friend. I’m not family. I’m the reality check, the confidante, the one who helps you keep the bigger picture and greater context in view.

I remind you of your highest intentions and ask the questions that wake you up into your next clearest knowing when things feel so intense it’s easy to be confused.

I coach you to be the you you want to be.

Many of my clients have worked with me for years, building a whole history of reference points with me through the many twists and turns of their path.

There’s great value in having the space to process it all and find your through line.

Your mindset is important.

Your gut feelings and intuitive knowings are important.

Your relationship with yourself is important.

Your dreams and deepest desires are important.

Your vision is important.

The questions you ask, the intentions you hold, and the beliefs you build along the way are important.

That’s why you work with a coach.

Life is a learning journey. It’s an adventure! You can’t do it wrong. You have within you what you need to meet what is in front of you. Always.

But when you need support in navigating your way through all the complexities of your life, I hope you’ll give it to yourself.

I have space for a few new committed clients. If that might be you, book a free consultation. I’m here for you.

Do you feel sufficient?

Posted on 16 August 2023

Below are some clues that you are living the opposite of I AM ENOUGH. Notice when you are:

• Overworking and spreading yourself thin.
• Trying to prove or convince others.
• Taking actions from a state of effort / push instead of inspiration and flow.
• Taking more responsibility than you need to.
• Shaping your personality to please others.
• Feeling insecure, anxious or self-consciousness.
• Over-inflating the truth.
• Apologizing excessively.

When you catch yourself in anything that feels like the above, be gentle with yourself. Of course you do these things! We’ve all been taught to. But there IS another way.

Relax. Lean back. Find your feet.

Come to center inside of yourself.

Breathe.

You’re not deficient!

You’re not lacking.

You are whole and complete.

You are an expression of the Divine.

You are a deep well of knowing, possibility, inspiration and impulse.

As I remind you of this, I’m directing you towards your own natural state of sufficiency because I know the when you orient yourself there, you brighten and align. This is where your truest power lies.

The more you relax within, the more you naturally emanate confidence, knowing and clarity.

This is the basis of a healthy self-esteem.

Practice with me! The I Am Enough class begins Friday. It’s a two week class to support you in resetting your relationship with yourself and unleveling your self-talk.  I’d love to have you join.

You can also book sessions when you can’t find your enougness on your own.

I see you! You’re bright, amazing and awesome — just as you are!

My biggest lesson as I became a coach…

Posted on 10 August 2023

When I started coaching I was hopeful and enthusiastic but so SO nervous. What if this person gets nothing out of their session with me? What if I don’t know what to ask? What If I miss the opening for a big breakthrough moment, and they walk away as stuck as they were before?

I became a coach because I love conversations and the insights and awakenings that a good conversation can spark. I’d experienced that as a client myself.

I’d felt my whole life change because of lightbulb moments I’d had in sessions — insights that helped me grow as a person, find new paths forward, hear my intuition, access inspiration, and become happy within myself.

This is why I became a coach.

But did I have what I needed to give that experience to clients?

The director of my coaching school emphasized one point over and over in our training, telling us that if we truly got this, we would always be of service.

He told us to remember that though we are the coach, the coaching is not about us. Meaning, it’s not on me to figure out my client’s problems or come up with the solution. That wouldn’t be coaching at all!

It’s not on me to fix my client. It’s my job to surrender all agendas and simply meet the client fully — open, present, curious and compassionate. That was enough.

I understood that theoretically, and then it was a practice.

My mind would freak out in every session with panic about whether I was giving enough, being enough, offering enough input, asking good enough questions. I’d start to tense, the vibe would lower, the conversation would go off the rails…

And then I’d remember to relax and trust. Trust in my own enoughness. Trust in their enoughness. And then something beautiful and amazing would gently emerge.

Their own inspiration would come to the surface.

Their own wholeness and completeness would show itself.

This is how it works – always.

Call it healthy self-esteem, call it confidence, call it whatever you want… We ALL need to remember our enougness over and over again in all areas of our life.

I’ll tell you this:

You are enough.

You are whole and complete.

You do not have to be perfect to be enough.

You simply are.

Internalize this and everything changes.

Stress, worry and overwhelm dissipates. The field around you relaxes. Your wholeness leads you forward with solutions that your insecure mind would never even see.

A more beautiful world is created when we remember our enoughness.

I trust that. And I trust you.

I’m here to meet you in that space of enoughness in sessions anytime.

I’m also again offering the “I Am Enough” class I first taught two years ago. I loved leading it, and it feels like a good time to do it again. If it speaks to you, come join.

Inside a coaching session…

Posted on 27 July 2023

No matter what my client is working on, here’s what I’m listening for in a coaching session:

What beliefs are at play here?

What else is happening below the surface?

What do they truly want to create and experience next?

What is the path of greatest alignment forward?

In all of this, I’m feeling for opening and expansion.

We may be talking about something that is deeply painful or frustrating or confusing. It may be tumbling out in a jumbled mess of thoughts or feelings.

Yet, sessions are intentional times. This isn’t unconscious rambling.

We’re focused.

I’m listening. My client is hearing and feeling their experience. And somewhere in that space of presence comes an opening.

Something lightens.

It can feel like a lightbulb moment or a sigh of relief. It might be a new thought or a glimpse of a path forward.

It feels better. It feels hopeful.

A sense of space and possibility begin to emerge.

And if we step in that direction, there’s more…

A life created from moments of clarity and lightness is a good life, an aligned life. The best ideas, the greatest solutions, the kindest and most loving way forward is found in these moments.

That’s the point of doing the inner work.

I’m here for it.

…

Book coaching sessions as you need them or commit to regular weekly sessions for intentional change. My calendar is open to you.

 

Stories from my clients…

Posted on 19 July 2023

I love being a life coach! It’s never dull…

Tracy hired me when she was almost sure she wanted to leave her current job and move on to a different kind of position. First we coached through her decision to leave, then we coached through the weeks of interviewing for new jobs – clarifying her motivations, intentions, and mindset. We processed what happened in each interview, mining the gold of every experience, and using each interview to boost her confidence. Then we talked though the offers as they came in, because she had several to choose from. When she did land that new position, her salary was $30,000 higher that she’d even been hoping for when she started looking, and she was proud and amazed at how much she’d grown.

Tom has worked with me off and on for years, seeking coaching around his business and family. This year he hired me again for a series of sessions because a few years after divorce he felt ready to date and he wanted to be clear and intentional so as not to repeat past relationship patterns. First we clarified what he was looking for in a relationship, and how he wanted to be in the dating process. Then week by week we debriefed his dates, exploring what he noticed inside of himself with each experience, and continually returning to his intentions for this relationship. After several months he was ready to stop dating and began to build a new relationship with a woman who is very different from the women he’s dated before. Their connection is so healthy and conscious, we’re both excited for him!

Caitlin hired me in the midst of a lot of tension in her business partnership. The cross currents were so confusing, she needed a place to sort it all out. While willing to take responsibility for her role in creating the conflicts, she also wanted to unravel what was hers to change and what wasn’t. A few months into coaching she began to see with a clean conscience how the partnership was no longer viable or healthy and to give herself permission to look for a way out. We coached all the way through the legalities of dissolving the partnership, the buyout that ensued, and then we began another round of coaching about the new business she was ready to build solo.

Laura uses her coaching sessions to talk about co-parenting decisions with her ex, the healthy new relationship she is creating with new boyfriend, and the choices she and her siblings are facing about the care of her elderly parents. She sorts through her thoughts and feelings before setting clear boundaries and making choices that impact her whole family. In between these issues of life she also talks to me about what’s happening in her professional life, including interoffice politics and the new responsibilities her boss is asking her to take on. Though she is extremely busy, she shows up for weekly coaching sessions because they keep her steady.

These are just a few of the clients I get to work with! They choose coaching because regular sessions keep them aligned, clear, and above the fray, so they can show as the version of themselves they want to be.

If you could use the support that coaching offers, I’m here for it. Book a consultation and tell me what you’re going though in you life right now, and what you want to create next.

The life you want is possible… reach for it.

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Know someone who could use a life coach? Send them my way. If someone you refer to me purchases a coaching package, you’ll receive a free session as a thank you!

When you’re in a funk…

Posted on 11 July 2023

Have you noticed that you see the world differently depending on what kind of mood you’re in?

When you’re grumpy, you’re more likely to see other people’s irritating behavior than on a day that you’re feeling warm and generous.

When you’re already stressed, you’re not so likely to see solutions or possibilities as you will when you’re steady and calm.

We all get into funks and have days when we’re not at our best.

It’s smart to realize this and adjust yourself accordingly.

When you’re prickly, DON’T have that important conversation.

When you’re catastrophizing, DON’T get on WebMD.

When you’re anxious, DON’T sign contracts, research financial solutions or apply for a new job.

DO those things when you’re steady and calm.

Dealing with big thing in your life when you’re negative or off-kilter never goes well. Your state of being shapes what is created.

Get in a good frame of mind FIRST.

Open your heart.

Adjust your attitude.

Remember the values you most want to live from and embody them.

THEN take a look at what’s in front of you and choose the action that feels the best.

This shift to steadiness is what my best clients use their sessions for. They know the mental and emotional state from which they want to meet their life and they’re committed to returning to that state over and over…

Care for yourself no matter your mood, but don’t put you bad mood persona in the driver’s seat of your life. That’s not where it belongs.

Pause. Adjust. Delay if necessary.

Steady as you go…

…

P.S. Could you use some support in navigating the challenges of your life and creating a life that fulfills you? That’s what coaching is for. Book a free consultation if we’ve never worked together before, or jump in my client calendar if you’re a client ready for another round of sessions. I’m here for you!

P.S.S. The first class of How to Manifest With Conscious Intention was last Wednesday. You can still register and join us! We’re doing conscious thought work and finding the energy of desire without resistance.  It’s practical and fun, and I’d love to have you join us.

Your desires will grow you… if you drop your resistance

Posted on 2 July 2023

Everything we desire invites us to grow and expand.

For example, if you’re desiring more money, in order for it to manifest, you must shift your energy to become a person who can have more money.

You may need to change your thinking.

You may need to drop your judgments and stories.

You may need to soften your stance and broaden your view of the field of possibility around you.

You may need to raise your vibration and open your heart to allow your life to be even better.

Are you willing to change in order to have what you desire?

Desire with full willingness is powerful.

Desire with resistance doesn’t get us very far.

I see this when I work with clients on a job search. They change dramatically between the start of the search and the time they land a new job. Their thinking changes, their energy aligns, and they become the person who can have that next level job. It can’t land in until THEY change.

I know this, so my job as the coach is to challenge their often unconscious resistance and help them consciously access the feelings and thinking that match what they are wanting.

From my perspective, it’s always an inner journey.

And … it’s a glorious one!

Being willing and functioning without resistance is something you can practice with all of your desires — big and small.

That’s the focus of July’s 4 week series — How to Manifest with Conscious Intention. This offering is a short and sweet laboratory to connect, grow, workshop your desires, and remind yourself of life principles you already know, but so easily forget.

We begin Wednesday, July 5. I’d love to have you join.

Read more and register HERE.

 

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