New Year’s Reflections

Posted on 31 December 2011

I LOVE the turn of one year into another.  I love the clean slate feeling that comes as one year ends and another begins.  I love reviewing the last year and setting a clear and concise theme or intention for the next.  For 2011 my chosen theme was “Full Permission” and let me tell you, I took that permission in 2011 to edges of expression I couldn’t have imagined.  What a year of expansion this last year has been for me!

Taking an inner inventory of gifts and gems from the last year is important to me.  It’s one way I stop to know myself.  It’s important to pause and appreciate who I’ve been and what I have created as my life.  This reflection also allows me the perspective of seeing with the eye behind the eye, glimpsing what is now emerging out of who I have been being.  Then, I can anchor in a Divine Vision for myself in the next year.

Here are some of the questions I like to ask myself.  I share them and encourage you to pause and ask them of YOUR self.  Honor your year with time of reflection and then out of your reflections, receive some insight into a new theme that’s worthy of the next year of your life.

Cheers to you and to your next journey around the sun!  You are here on purpose and as a great gift to the world.  May you know yourself as the gift that you are.  May you love yourself and others.  May you BE who you came here to be.

—

Light a candle.  Curl up with your journal.  Breathe and relax.  Know that your last year was perfect and that every experience you had was good.  Now, ask and listen:

Who were you one year ago? What were your intentions for 2011?

What happened in your relationships in 2011? Did new people enter your life? Did some of your relationships change or transform? On the whole, what qualities characterized your relationships this year?

How did you grow and expand in 2011? What challenges did you experience?  What limiting beliefs did you give up? What new lessons did you learn? Who were your greatest teachers?

What are you most grateful for having experienced in the year? What joyous experiences did you have? What light-hearted moments do you remember fondly? What gifts did you receive?

What legacy did you leave behind? What did you give? What impact did you make in your community? In the world?

What was the bravest thing you did in 2011? What did you do that was directed by your intuition?  When you look at all of your accomplishments, what are you most proud of?

After all this review, what’s the final message/takeway of 2011? And from that, what do you see next year naturally being about for you?  What do you want to release in 2012? What qualities do you want to embrace?

What theme word or phrase comes to you as an anchor for your highest intentions for 2012? Who are you committed to being in the next year? What are you committed to expressing?

Asking Love

Posted on 22 December 2011

I’ve got LOVE on the mind. I’ve got a yearning to learn more about what Love is.  I’ve got a desire to be even more open-hearted and Loving.  I want to BE Love like I’ve never been Love before.  And out of that desire, I’ve got questions.  I’ve got questions for LOVE and about LOVE.  And so I’m asking:

How does Love want to express as me?  What actions does Love want to take in my life?

Where can I make a little more space in my awareness for Love?  How can I make Love even more welcome in my life?

How can I be even more Loving in my work? How can I hold an even greater space of Love for my clients? With what words and expressions can I infuse Love into all of my conversations?

Who wants more of my Love?  Who needs my Loving right now?  How can I spread broad messages of Love, beyond my current circles?  What communities can I serve with my Love? How can I be a greater force of Love to a greater number of people in my life today?

Where can I be more open to receive the Love that is given to me?  What messages is Love sending me? In what ways can I be more attentive to Love’s gifts?

What Loving acts can I perform today? What Loving words can I speak today? What Loving message can I convey with my life today?

How can I express Love with everything that I am?  In what ways can I show more Love to myself?  Where can I allow Love to grow?  Where can I allow Love to express?  Where can I allow Love to create?

Where in my life do I need to practice Love? Where in my life can I let Love have free reign?  What would happen if I let Love flow freely?

And as I ask, I feel Love.  I feel it well up.  I feel it emanate.  It takes me over and has it’s way.  It is what I am.  It is what I experience.   It is all that is.

Chill out — really, it’s okay.

Posted on 31 October 2011

What’s the difference between chilling out and stalling out?

It’s a difference in tone.  To chill out is to relax and wait.  To stall out might look the same outwardly, but it feels frustrating.  It’s the space of sputtering, wheel spinning attempts at momentum without any actual movement.  Stalling out is also that sick-feeling space of putting things off, avoiding, or breaking down.

Sometimes, however,  it’s just not time to move.  Sometimes, especially before times of big change in our lives, the Universe takes a little time to rearrange, dematerialize and reorganize circumstances and conditions in order to prepare the way for what is coming next.

And the best thing to do when THAT is happening, is to chill out.  No point in making big decisions or forcing movement. And no point in beating one’s self up for the lack of movement.  Save your energy.  Relax and rest.  Turn inward and listen.

Work with me long enough and you’ll come to find that I’m an advocate of that juicy, if sometimes uncomfortable place of ‘don’t know yet’.  I highly celebrate that space of ‘gathering information.’  I’ve come to recognize those rich in-between decision places as good places to practice trust and surrender.

That said, I’m also an advocate of being decisive.  And that’s not a contradiction to the above.  I’m an advocate for choosing to be wherever you are.  If you’re in a place of ‘don’t know yet’, choose to be okay with it. Give yourself permission to be there. Don’t fight it, don’t beat yourself up for it, and don’t try so hard.  Choose it and choose it powerfully.

That’s the chill tone.

Chilling is allowing.  It’s not tense.  It’s not anxious.  Thus, when the new direction opens and your internal guidance system starts to give direction for movement, chilling quickly turns to a new state — FLOWING.

Trust it.  You’re not stuck.  You’re not going to be stuck.  Wait, listen, and anticipate it – the tide will turn.  Chill out and enjoy the rest.  When the flow begins, you’ll be ready.

Assembling the High-Vibe Tribe — and YOU’RE invited!

Posted on 3 October 2011

I love great conversations. I love asking questions, hearing responses and seeing lightbulbs go on in people’s spirits as they make internal connections that bring answers, solutions and new insights. In coaching conversations, I get to do that with people one on one, and it always leaves me awed and inspired!

In addition, I really like to connect amazing people to other amazing people, and I LOVE sparking group conversations based in a tone of ‘what’s right’ optimism and empowerment that sparks creativity and innovation.

And, I have discovered that with a little finesse, a dose of structure, and some thought-provoking questions and content, people connect amazingly well in a virtual party setting – by phone! **

So, I’m throwing a party, to do just that, and I’m inviting YOU!

Think “Positive Cocktail Party“. Think “Dream Mixer“. Think “Think Tank”.

Think of it as a High-Vibe VIP party, at which you get to have multiple inspiring conversations with people, like you, who are eager to connect and grow.

That’s what we’ll be creating together this coming Sunday afternoon, on a tele-conference call like no other: a High-Vibe Tribe, not limited by geography or time zone.

Is this for you?

Do you feel like you’re growing? Like something is emerging from you that’s new? Do you feel an evolutionary shift occurring in your life from the inside out? Is it BIG?

Maybe you can’t name or identify it yet, but if you are feeling some inner stirrings of change, I want YOU on this call.

Here’s what you’ll get from it:

1. New friends – multiple new high-vibe additions to your community, and a partner to check in with over the next month.
2. New clarity regarding what’s going on inside you, what it means in your life, and what it’s going to bring.
3. A new vision for what’s next for you – with action steps, affirmations and accountability.

I’m excited! And, friends, it’s time! NOW! What we do individually, what we allow to occur in our inner evolution, THAT’S what’s going to change the outer world of our lives and recreate society as we know it.

When? Sunday — October 9th at 4pm PST

Where? By phone. Geography is NO limit!

What’s the cost? The call is $20. Register below and I’ll send you the call in number and code, along with more details about how to prepare for the call.

NOTE: I’m super excited to be donating a portion of the proceeds to Earth School! And if you haven’t already, swing by and push the “like” button at the Coolest School in the Galaxy!

(** The conference call system that I use is called Maestro and amazingly, it allows for us to mix and mingle in a variety of ways – partners, dyads, triads and more. You can even raise your hand from wherever you are on the planet, and I’ll see it! Fun, fun! I’ll also be encouraging you to be on Facebook the same time as you’re on the call. That way, when I partner you with someone, you can immediately find them, friend them, and ‘see’ who you’re talking to. Get a feel for this? Think global, baby! It’s world wide web connection at its finest!)

Struggle is a Myth. Take the Easy Way.

Posted on 23 September 2011

I don’t believe things have to be hard.  I’m not an advocate of hard work, will power or discipline.  I AM an advocate of clear intentions, focus, openness and willingness.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a myth that life has to be a struggle’; and that saying “no pain, no gain”?  Well, that’s a tough paradigm to live with, and I choose not to.

Somehow, somewhere, I think most of us got that program.  The one that says “life’s gonna be hard, and then you’ll die.”  And we accepted it, likely because it was modeled for us.  The world is full of people experiencing hardship and pain, struggle and fight.  The thing is, that kind of experience can be found in the poorest places and the richest, in people with love and without, among people educated or uneducated, employed or unemployed.  The list can go on.  People of any circumstance or condition can experience hardship or ease.  And whichever experience they have has to do with their perspective,  which is entirely within their choice.

Here’s the truth if you choose to accept it:  Your life CAN be a life of ease and grace.  Your good WANTS  to flow to you.   Your dreams WANT to come true.  Your life WANTS to be sweet.

So let it.

Let go of the tightness of struggle.  Let go of the need to ‘work hard’.  By all means, work!  By all means accomplish and create!  By all means, build your life!  But, look for the spaces of expansion and walk there.  Look for the open doorways and walk through them.  Look for the sweetness and appreciate it.  Let your work be your play.

You can wear struggle and pain as a badge of honor.  Many people do.  Ever heard anyone complain about how many hours they work as a point of pride?  Or boast about the struggles in their job/relationship/health?  Do you do that?

It’s likely that you’re going to go through things in your life that are going to feel painful.  Such experiences will cause you to grow and will break open your heart and your mind to new vistas and new depths.  But, for goodness sake, don’t think your life needs to be all about pain in order to be worthy.

The biggest dreams I’ve dreamed into existence actually came about through synchronistic events – one good thing leading to another good insight to another good connection to another good opportunity.  That’s flow!  That’s ease!  That’s grace! And that’s me allowing the Universe to do the hard work of figuring out HOW what I want to be can come to be.  My job?  It’s to show up, appreciate the sweetness, keep saying yes, and allow the goodness to flow.

And believe me, it’s your job too.  Take it.

Stomp Your Foot and Call It Forth

Posted on 3 September 2011

On New Year’s Day a little white angel walked into my apartment.  I’ve named her Isis.  She’s an all white, blue-eyed, super-beautiful cat with a sweet temperament and a feisty side.   She adopted me.  Walked in and made herself at home.  While I tried to let her out to ‘go find her people’ every morning for the next week, she kept coming back and before I knew it, she’d officially moved in.

She’s my little miracle cat, a clear gift and affirmation from the Universe that I can have what I want.  The night before she walked in to my life, I’d sat with my friend Margaret at the New Year’s Eve service at Agape, reviewing 2010 and visioning for 2011.  I had the very clear thought, “By the end of 2011, I’m GOING to have a pet.  I’m NOT living alone the rest of this year.”

Now, I’m pretty clear on that tone.  It was sort of a stomp-of-my-foot declaration.  It wasn’t a tantrum.  It wasn’t defiance.  It was authority.  I was speaking my internal desire with an assumption that it WOULD be.  And so it was.  The next day.

I find myself encouraging my clients to find that inner foot stomp for the areas of their lives that they’re feeling stuck.  WHAT do you want?  Do you REALLY want it?  Are you SURE you want it?  If the answer is a clear yes, if it’s a no-nonsense, unquestionable inner knowing of desire and longing, then by all means, claim your right as a child of the Universe to have it.  Stomp your inner foot and proclaim that it is coming to you now.

I’m talking about taking authority here – about exercising the voice of spiritual authority and knowing your Divine Right to create your life.  The Universe is governed by spiritual laws that we all have access to.  They aren’t personal.  They aren’t wishy-washy.  They’re clear.  As spiritual law dictates, when you declare from a place of alignment and authority, that something IS, then it is.

The practice is in aligning with your spirit’s longing.  The practice is in listening to your inner desires and being clear on what they really are.  And then the practice is declaring them into existence with faith and certainty, worthiness and power.

To do that, requires giving up waffling and insecurity.  Own your desires.  What DO you want?  State, it, stomp your foot with power, and call it forth.  Then give in an Amen and let it be.   It’s already yours.

(Note: I claimed that by the END of 2011 I’d have a pet and yet, little Isis showed up THE NEXT DAY! I swear, the Universe loves to deliver; our job is to activate the Law with a proclamation, then get out of the way, give up the hows and let go of the exact details.   Somehow, giving room for your desires to come, even over an extended timeline, allows for relaxation within your certainty. YOU aren’t in charge of anything more than the clarity and the declaration.  Try it.)

Summer Reading that will Shift Your Thinking

Posted on 11 July 2011

It’s summer time, and I don’t know about you, but for me, that means I’m seeking out sun-worshipping pool and beach time with a good book in hand.  I usually have three or more books of various genres going at once, and finding books that inspire and shift my thinking thrills me.  I’m always open to book suggestions (post yours in a comment below!), and I’m happy to share a few of mine with you:

A Classic: This is way old school, but I’m feeling a revival of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Self Reliance.” Read it with a highlighter in hand, and don’t get too bogged down in the wording – just find the sentences that jump out at you as deep truths.  You can’t read this empowering classic without feeling the call of non-conformity and a stronger trust in your own internal truth.

Great Fiction: Just want a great novel?  Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese is the best piece of literature I’ve read in a loooong time!  This novel is hefty and the full meal deal.  A fascinating narrative, deep themes, profound explorations of humanity, and not a flat character in the book.  I loved it!

Thoughtful Non-Fiction: I stumbled first on Simon Sinek’s TED talk about How Great Leaders Inspire Action, and soon dove into his book Start With Why. If you run a business or organization, if you have any leadership role, or if you want to start a movement (go Revolutionaries!), this book will inspire.  Get clear on WHY you are about what you are about, and WHY you do what you do, and you’ll naturally have a momentum to succeed.

And… if you are REALLY open to a life changing book experience, check out these tele-CLASSES, all of which are based on a book that changed my life.  Starting next week, is Manifesting Change. Beginning in August is Spiritual Practices.  Sometime after that, The Four Agreements.  Think book club on steroids and you might get the sense of what we’re about in these classes.  Join us!

Can it really be this good? YES!

Posted on 14 June 2011

Recently I’ve been catching myself being totally happy.  Almost ridiculously happy, actually.  I’ve been in a vibrant, full-love, joyful state of being that I just can’t keep bottled up inside me.  It’s got me skipping and smiling and glowing. And, when I catch a glimpse of myself being this happy, I actually hear myself internally asking the question, “Can it really be this good?”

Now that’s an interesting, noteworthy question.  Does it sound familiar to you?  That question, “Can it really be this good?” comes from the skeptic’s voice in my mind.  It’s a question that by its nature tries to limit the flow of goodness.  It’s a question that comes up so automatically, and feels so natural to ask, it’s easy to miss it.

But I keep catching it and wanting to catch it.  Because when I hear myself ask if my life can be this good, I want to answer with a resounding YES!  I want to claim it. YES!  I choose to claim it.

Yes, it can be this Good!  Yes, I can allow this much Joy!  Yes, I can feel this much Love!

Yes, yes, yes!  I DO claim it.

I CAN experience this much love, this much joy, this much fullness of spirit.  I AM experiencing it.  And so, I give myself permission, and I know that if I don’t say yes – if I, in fact, say NO to it, shrink back from it, hesitate in any doubt that I’m worthy of it, I limit the goodness that WANTS to express in my life.

I don’t want to limit goodness.  That makes no sense.  I want to EMBRACE goodness!

Now, don’t get the impression that Jessica’s life is always in a feel-good state of perpetual bliss.  It isn’t.  And I don’t expect it to be.  I know the space of bad mood, crankiness and general irritation. I’ve had the ‘I can’t get out of bed depression’, the stretches of ‘deer-in-the-headlight fear,’ and the total paralysis of mind and spirit that comes from that fear.  I KNOW those spaces well.

And, yet, those spaces are all the clearing spaces for joy.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: it takes a certain daring to allow myself to be happy.  It takes a certain gutsiness to accept happiness in the form of a big love, or success.  It takes a certain “I deserve it” attitude to even ALLOW myself to be in a state of joy.

In other words, I actually think it takes work to be happy.  A sort of inner housekeeping work of courage to clear space for joy.  Feelings of negativity and fear, they get to come up and pass through, and as they do, I expand in capacity for something else. It’s work to allow feelings to come up and go, and it’s work to allow expansion, but it’s worth it.

When you hear your skeptic’s voice asking you if your life can be this good, catch it.  Hear it. Answer it with a YES.  Claim goodness, joy and love as your birthright.  Choose it, and let it expand within you.  Be daring enough to accept it.  I dare you!

Self Love is a Spiritual Practice

Posted on 18 May 2011

Sitting in a crochet class, across from a sweet woman who was just telling me about her love of animals and her volunteer work at the zoo, I was startled at her sudden exclamation of “I’m so STUPID!”  She said it loudly, clearly and with more emphatic power than she’d expressed about the importance of caring for animals. We were learning a new stitch, she was frustrated, and I was caught off guard.  Her words were sharp, mean and directed inward. I cringed.

I don’t speak badly of myself anymore. I don’t call myself names and I don’t put myself down. That’s taken some work, and has required a great deal of practice. When I heard my fellow classmate call herself stupid, it jarred me.  “You’re not stupid,” I said in response, hardly without thinking.  “You’re learning.  You’re doing just fine.”

It’s not up to me to convince her that she’s fine.  She is fine.  And I hope she’ll choose to see that.  I can reassure and that might make her feel better.  I can protest and contradict, but then I’m playing the game of right and wrong.  That’s not the point.

What I took away, however, was the reflection. I used to say mean things about myself to myself – You’re ugly, Jessica.  You’re an idiot.  You’re never going to get this. You can’t.  You’re boring. You’re ridiculous.

And even writing that makes me sad.

Now, I don’t say such things aloud.  Sometimes, I hear myself say them quietly, and I’m surprised to hear it in my head.  Those inner put-downs are becoming rare.  Somehow, what I’ve come to is a willingness to be on my own side.  And I’m grateful for that.  Over and over I make a conscious choice to live a powerful life, to be loving, and to remember who I am.  I can’t put my own self down and still be powerful.  I can’t put my own self down and remember who I am.  I can’t truly be a loving presence while being unkind to myself.

Here’s what I know to be true:  If you want to live a life of power, you’re going to have to be your own ally.  If you want to live a life of health and well-being, you’re going to have to love yourself enough to take care of yourself.  If you want to live a life of love, you’re going to have to love yourself so much that you can truly love others.  It starts with you.

And let me tell you, self-love is a spiritual practice.  To love yourself is to know yourself as a spiritual being.  If you know yourself only as a body, or only as a physical person, you’re going to find faults, flaws, and things to complain about.  Bodies can be compared to other bodies.  Physical condition and circumstance can be compared to other physical condition and circumstance.  Intellect, talent and skill can be compared.  But try to compare one spirit to another.  Can you?  When you know yourself as a spiritual being, you’ll love yourself.  You have to!  Who you are is a unique emanation of Divinity itself.  When you grasp that, you cannot BUT love yourself.

I’m getting a little lofty here, but let me tell you, over and over again in my work with clients I witness that the work of conscious living is in this practice of self-love and self-awareness. And I have yet to find more worthy work to do.

The next time you catch yourself speaking unkindly to yourself, pause to notice.  It may be a pattern to put yourself down, but it doesn’t serve you.  Make a new choice.  Remember who you are and speak again from that place of  I AM.  I am doing my best.  I am learning and growing.  I am all I need to be in this moment.  I am.

What Floats Your Boat? Do it!

Posted on 14 April 2011

It’s Week 6 in my Manifesting Change Teleclass (based on the book Manifesting Change by Mike Dooley), and the theme of this week is Opening the Floodgates.  What’s the secret to opening the floodgates, you might ask?  The secret is to simply follow your heart and be your UNIQUE SELF.  Fully and unabashedly.

It’s so simple, really.

Who you are is all you need to be.

What floats your boat is what you’re here to find out.

What gives you JOY is what you’re here to pursue.

This week, I’ve coached three new clients and this is the subject we’ve circled.  It’s a subject of prioritizing your own joy and desires because that simple action is what makes life full, gives in meaning, and creates you as someone who can actually contribute to others.  Each of my new clients has been trying to contribute and be the person they want to be in their world from a place of being internally depleted. We’re talking wound tight and stressed out states of being, and what I keep asking is”how can you possibly be your best self from that state?”

Interestingly, the first impulse most stressed out people have is to try harder, so my invitation hits a little counter-intuitively.  I invite them to try less hard at the ‘shoulds’ and to frolic in the activities that actually give them joy.

Golf.  Garden.  Cook.  Dance.  Take a nap.  Write.

Take a walk.  Hang out with friends.  Play some music.

Do what floats your boat!

Make time for the things you enjoy simply because they are fun for you.

Selfishness is a virtue.  Why?  Because it leaves you so happy and so full up on energy that you are a well of creativity, positivity, and well-being.  From that place, you have oh-so-much to give and express.  From that place, the floodgates open.

And so, be courageous enough to be yourself, to honor your passions and desires and worthy, and to choose fun and joy over stress and tension.

Your world will thank you for it.

***

“Anyone who has ever given anything meaningful to the world has been a divinely selfish soul.” Richard Bach, in Illusions

***

The Manifesting Change 8 Week Teleclass has been a blast for myself and for the 12 students currently in it.  Empowering, Fun, and Dynamic.  We’ve got manifestation stories to tell, friendships emerging between classmates, and new patterns of thought blowing old ways of being out of the water.  I’ll be teaching it again on Tuesday nights in May and June.  Want to join?  Only the courageous need apply!

Register now, it’s going to fill fast!

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