Things to remember when you’re beating yourself up

Posted on 12 February 2020

Have you ever noticed that beating yourself up for what you’ve chosen only keeps you hooked into it? I find this with clients all the time. Before getting visionary we have to neutralize that self-judgment.

Let me remind you of two important facts about being human:

1. It’s okay to make messes and mistakes along the journey; in fact, you must. In the grand scheme of your life those things you call mistakes are simply part of the colorful tapestry of you. They’re necessary. The trial and error is a key component in learning anything. Give yourself permission to not be perfectly evolved, perfectly visionary, and perfectly perfect all the time. Who would that person be? Someone not nearly as interesting as you.

1. When you feel stuck, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Often those days or weeks of confusion and stuckness are days or weeks in which everything else is rearranging and it all just may need time. A seed takes time to sprout. A baby takes months to grow before it’s ready to be born. You’re not wrong for where you are. Don’t beat yourself up for timing that is out of your control. Trust that it’s all unfolding.

When you’ve released your self-judgment and come back into balance with yourself, THEN you can ask bigger questions that will help you see a way forward:

* What is this situation offering me? What is are the gifts of having created it?
* What actions can I take to create something better here for me (and everyone else too)?
* What is my intuition telling me about timing?
* What parts of this do I need to surrender as not in my control?
* How at ease can I be with it all?

Now what do you know?

I use these questions with clients in sessions. If you could use the kind of space and inquiry, book some sessions with me.  Also, I have workshop on Saturday in LA called Let It Go and Choose Again, the focus of which will be releasing judgment and pivoting to what’s possible next. No by-passing in this work — instead a full acknowledgment, appreciation, and embrace of what has been so we can look forward with clear and clean perspective.

 


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Support Yourself With Sessions

Posted on 6 February 2020

Earlier this week a client reminded me that in one of our first conversations 3 years ago, I told her “you always have enough”. I’m pretty sure I asked her first if there was ever a time she didn’t have enough and she told me no, so, I asked her to lean into that and set aside her fear. At that time she was nervous about work drying up, and her behavior reflected the anxiety. When she calmed herself, remembered that she’s always had enough, and lived from that truth, she created the space for it to be. Truly, in the last 3 years, she’s had plenty of work – it did not dry up, it did not go away, it did not pass her up for someone younger as she feared. This year, in fact she’s passing up work in favor or travel time with her family and that is such a thrill!

I love the relationships I build with my clients. I love watching their stories unfold. I love celebrating the good that is in their lives and expanding the space for more.

From my point of view, our lives should get better and better. We don’t get to choose necessarily HOW they get better, but we do get to ask for and receive more of what lights us up, brings us joy and expands us. To have that greater expansion, joy and light, we have to be people who are willing to be expanded, joyful and light.

In coaching session, that’s where we go — into what you’re struggling with, to reality check our thoughts, beliefs and postures. On your own sometimes that’s hard, but together in the space of session work, it can be so easy.

If this year, you’d like to add a coach to your support team, reach out! I’d love to work with you.

A single session is $150.
Recurring monthly sessions are $125/month.
Or a package of 4 sessions is $497.

My client calendar is HERE.


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The art of choosing

Posted on 28 January 2020

Don’t just think through your choices. Feel them.

Notice the energy of each option:

Does this direction feel light or heavy?
Does it expand me or contract me?

When the energy is light in a particular direction, open up to it.

Even when it appears illogical, be daring enough to entertain the possibility it presents.

If it’s heavy, pause. Don’t keep walking in directions that contract you.

Wait. Ask more questions.

Choosing based on energetic awareness is powerful.

There’s an art to listening and perceiving. It requires you to be present. It requires you to value yourself enough to choose what feels good to you.

And… it’s something you can practice and get good at.

Want to practice with me? I’ll guide you!

Choice & Choosing, a 5 week calls series, begins Wednesday. Come play!

 

….

When you’ve got big choice points in front of you, book a session.  Together we can feel into the possibilities and align you to your inner knowing. You DO know! We all have a ton of awareness about the paths in our life, it’s just that so often our knowing is eclipsed by our stress, our over-thinking, or our fears of making the wrong choice. Again, when you’re caught in that, slow down. Ask questions. Feel in.

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This year, nurture your growth with lots of support.

Posted on 8 January 2020

What are you poised to create this year?
 

What are you growing into being next?

The process of growth is continual.

Life invites you to become more in every phase of your experience.

Maybe this year Life will propel you into more leadership skills, more tenderness and compassion with others, or more self-love…

Maybe you are expanding into something so new you don’t have words for it yet.

How kind can you be to yourself through it all?

Growth can feel exhilarating. 
It can also at times feel painful.

Give yourself support. Book some sessions.

Coaching sessions give you
the space to hear yourself, 
the space to acknowledge your challenges and the space to feel into the next steps and next possibilities.

When you’re fully supported growth unfolds with far greater ease.

I’ve got a few openings for new clients this year. Would you like to work with me?

New clients can schedule a free consultation HERE.

Or simply dive into my CLIENT CALENDAR with gusto.

Sessions are $150 for a single session, or 4 for $497.


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What I wish for you…

Posted on 24 December 2019

Whatever you are about this week, may you feel the warmth of Life towards you.

May you relax into quiet moments and find an even keel in busy ones. May you perceive the beauty in the world around you.

May you be a friend to strangers. May you be a friend to yourself. May you continually expand your capacity to give and receive.

May you say no to what no longer serves you. May you say yes to that which speaks to your soul. May you be courageous enough to say nothing or to say everything as your heart guides you.

May you be willing to grow. May you be willing to change course. May you be willing to get bigger when you want to shrink.

May you give yourself more space to be imperfect, to try new things, to fall down and then get back up. May you celebrate the way it all works out even when it doesn’t go according to plan.

May you remember that you don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea. May you afford others the same space. May you choose to be generous and know your abundance.

May you release your judgments. May you release your resentments. May you release your standards of perfection.

May you give up controlling. May you let Life support you. May you feel yourself connected to all things.

May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be vibrant.

May you know that all is well.

If you could use some clarity, a new vision, or support accessing your truth, I’m here for that. Book a session. My calendar is open through the new year.


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How my tree got decorated yesterday…

Posted on 9 December 2019

My niece and nephew came over yesterday and helped me decorate my Christmas tree. This is a tradition they started with me last year after I told them that I wasn’t sure I’d decorate my home for the holidays — I mean, it is only me in the house after all!  Ruby, who was 9 at the time, immediately said, “Oh, it’s okay, we’ll come help you!” Then she arranged with my brother, her Dad, to actually do that. They came over on a Sunday and had a blast being in charge of decorating my home.

I know better than to refuse a generous offer! And they lit my place up with festive cheer in a manner that humbled me.

This year, I figured I should lean in and receive that help again. Why? Because it created so much for me, but also for Ruby and Royal. It’s a way they get to show their love for me, and whenever I soften and let people love me, it reverberates through my life too. It deepens our relationship. It grows our joy. (Catch a glimpse of that here.)

I wonder — in how many more areas I can relax enough to receive the gifts that I’m being offered?

For you, December might be a month full of activities, or a month in which you shy away from all of that. You could feel stress or pressure, or your inner Grinch might be surfacing.  But instead of contracting, soften and relax. Notice what is being offered to you.

Who is reaching out to create with you?
Who wants to love you?
Where can you be generous in your receiving?

To actually receive you might have to show up, say yes, or go to the store to get ready. I had to dig out the Christmas decorations and cookie cutters to prepare for my niece and nephew helping me, but doing so brought out my own inner generosity. How fun can I let this day be? What would add to it? Fresh baked cookies? Homemade lunch? Silly hats? Yes!

In this spirit, activities aren’t exhausting. They’re rejuvenating.

That’s what I wish for you.

May you receive the season with an open heart and generous spirit. May this month for you be joy-filled.


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When change comes, get out of your way…

Posted on 22 November 2019

A client booked a session with me on Tuesday after getting news that an aspect of her business was going to have to change. It was the kind of news that could have sent her in a tail-spin —thus the coaching session. In a note to me in my calendar, she said she wanted to trust the expansion and get of her way so that she could meet the change with a sense of possibility. I was down for that!

You can’t control all the circumstances of your life. Things change continually. But whether you meet change with anxiety or with hopefulness — that’s in your control.

My client knows this, and she knew that facing this particular change with anxiety would create more chaos. She was aiming for calm, confidence and a sense of Life taking care of her.

Life can feel like a chaotic storm, but somewhere in the middle of the storm there IS a calm point. If you can center yourself, you can find it. From there you can relax. From there you can access an inner sense of optimism and hopefulness.

How is this what I’ve been asking for?
What can I create with this that it’s an even greater match to who I am now?
What are the possibilities of this turning out even better than I’ve envisioned?

When you view life with a healthy sense of optimism, a storm doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience. It could actually be a rejuvenating thrill!

I don’t know how this business situation is going to unfold for my client, but she’s ready for it. The story will probably have ups and downs (like all good stories do), but I know a few months down the road we will be celebrating how it all worked out. We’ll appreciate what was created. And my client will have it all as gold.

If calming your fears and shifting your energy doesn’t feel so easy, I get it! It’s simple, but depending on the level of anxiety you’re in, it can be hard to do on your own. No shame in that. That’s what coaching is for. Book a session. I’m here for you.

#Calm #Confident #HealthyDoseOfOptimism #LifeCoach #BeyondAnxiety


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It didn’t show up the way I thought it would…

Posted on 5 November 2019

I can’t tell you how many things I’ve manifested in my life that I almost didn’t notice had arrived —because they didn’t show up the way I expected.

Like this: I want a new friend, and I’m staring at people I think might make good friends, but it’s not happening. We’re not clicking, and I’m frustrated. Then, I come home one weekend and realize — I’d just had the friend experience I was wanting, from someone I didn’t expect. It was all initiated by her, and our conversation was super nurturing to me. Wow!

Or this: I’m looking and looking for the next level of professional development, scouting courses and comparing programs for months. Nothing lands in as a fit, no matter how much I search. Then, one day it dawns on me that an unrelated class I’m taking for fun has actually just given me everything I was seeking to up-level my coaching. It arrived as a bonus, cost me nothing extra, and it met me right where I was at.

Isn’t that interesting?

It never happens the way I think it’s going to happen. But it does happen!

I like to remind my clients of this often, because I see it with them too. Our minds try really hard to imagine the scenario, the direction, the way it’s all going to show up for us, but we can’t. In fact, whatever direction we’re staring at intensely can’t deliver for us when we’re filling it with our push-and-pull effort.

What we are seeking most often comes from a direction in which we are not being hyper-vigilant or hyper-controlling. We can even miss it if we’re too wrapped up in our frustration and expectation.

It’s good to remember this. Relax about your desires. Be easy about them. Hold them loosely in your thoughts. Be aware of what is to the left of you, and the right of you, what’s behind you, and what’s on the horizon. Expand your gaze into your periphery and notice what is showing up for you.

Life is always showing up for you. New experiences and people and possibilities are always arriving. Your job is to receive them, delight in them, and appreciate all that life creates for you. And that is something you can practice.

November is a good month to pull out a gratitude journal, and acknowledge what you have been manifesting. Or sign up for this month’s daily class, Living Abundance, and explore how the energy of receiving generates more abundance.

Life is good at delivering. Soften to receive it.


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When you’re feeling like there isn’t enough for you…

Posted on 1 November 2019

There is more than enough for you… are you feeling it?

There is more than enough time, money, resources, and support for you to have your needs met.

If you aren’t feeling that there is, I understand that. There’s a lot of stress on the planet, and a lot of feeling of scarcity. It’s all around you. It could be the vibe in your office, or with your loved ones, or maybe you feel the desperation as soon as you get on the freeway. But when you catch yourself in it, that’s your cue to pause and reset.

What you need is here too.

There is a way to it. There is a way for it to manifest. There is a way to access it.

To get to it, you must shift your energy, or you won’t even see it.

Remind yourself: There is enough. There is a way. There is a whole other set of possibilities available to me. There is another reality than this.

Say that aloud. Then repeat it again.

Can you feel the quiet space inside of you that remembers that?

As you shift back to center, you harmonize with circumstances instead of trying to control them. You surrender to what’s here, and you don’t sink — you float! The problems that appeared so big, dissolve as you stop wrestling with them.

The more you practice tuning into that energy of ‘more than enough’, the easier life flows, and the more you’ll experience your needs being met.

Book sessions when you need help. Establish your own daily practice to find your center and open to Life. Or join this year’s Living Abundance class for 22 days of energy shifting conversation, and practice with me.

There is more than enough support for you. Have it.


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My Grandma passed away this week…

Posted on 19 October 2019

My Grandma passed away this week at 100 years old. She was in Alaska, so I wasn’t at her side, but I’ve been feeling her close in my heart as memories flood me. It’s tender to remember.

I gathered a collection of photos and wrote a short tribute to her on social media — you can see it here.

Years ago, I worked on my relationship with my Grandma with the very first life coach I ever hired. I was about to change careers, so I thought we’d talk about money, goals, and vision, but instead she guided me to look deeper at my own identity, and the fear and self-doubt patterns that intertwined.

For weeks, every session seemed to circle back around to Grandma.

Grandma was the person everyone said I looked like. She instilled the importance of politeness and respect in me. She praised me often for being quiet and good. She set the tone in our family, and I wanted to please her. But… I also felt defiant around Grandma, and I couldn’t express that.

I wanted to please Grandma and be loved, but I also needed the space to be me, and that space wasn’t offered. Thus, a inner split formed in my identity — on the outside I appeared one way, on the inside I guarded my truth.

My coach and I looked at that together. She guided me through forgiveness work. She helped me bring new information to old memories. She gave me the space to express and hear myself. She helped me dissolve shame and free myself from what I perceived were Grandma’s rules. This was deeply healing.

This work around my relationship with Grandma felt like a detour, but it wasn’t. It was necessary. In order to step forward in my life, I needed to be able to honor my truth without separating from others.

And of course, after all those sessions with my coach, my relationship with my Grandma entirely changed! I’m grateful for that more than I can say.

I don’t know if sharing this is a gift to you, but I hope it is. I hope it helps you to soften in some way towards yourself, your biggest teachers (like my Grandma was to me!), and this learning journey that is your life.

If you could use some support this month, my heart is wide open and ready to receive you.  Book some sessions.  We can sink deep together, shine light on what’s submerged within you, and heal anything.


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